ISAGENIX DAY?

hahaha - SO - blogging STILL isn't my forte.

Either are meal plans. :(

Don't fret - I'm not completely off the Isagenix bandwagon, but I fall off pretty regularly - now that I'm at the last week or so of the program.

I know that when my 30 days is up on Thursday and I take my last measurements and weigh in - I'll be disappointed in myself.

My results could be better. I could be smaller.

And I'll have to use those as a motivator for the NEXT 30 days...whenever I decide to begin that. ;)

I've had a bit of an attitude about though. I don't think it's the healthiest weight loss plan for me. It cuts too many calories out - makes me dependent on a product - it's MLM - AND it's pretty expensive.

BUT - I'm getting results. I'm losing inches, I'm out of my boot, and I'm learning that I can survive on a snack of 12 unsalted almonds. Portion control is a good thing.

That's enough motivation to continue Isagenix until I reach the goal weight and size that I know is healthy for me. :)

I just need to do it when it's NOT BROWN SUGAR MONTH. :)

Which reminds me - if I don't have your address (again) - please fill out this private form to be added to my Online Address Book:

www.postable.com/brownsugarchristensen

If you're uncomfortable with links and such - just email it to me or text me...or maybe you don't want my Brown Sugar Letter of Love...*sniff* and that's okay too...

ISAGENIX DAY 17

It happened - I got my heart space broken at the Glass House. :(

Since I began - there's been a kid in there pretty regularly (I know - red flag) and he thought I was so hilarious (which I am) that he introduced himself. His name is Frank and he's from St. Louis, MISSOURI. <3

Every time he would come in - he'd wait in my line - and we'd chat about life. He always told me how happy I made him and that he looked forward to seeing me.

I look forward to seeing him too. He has dark brown hair, a crooked smile, and sad, brown eyes. I'm not saying that I thought we'd ever end up together, but I wanted to party with the kid for sure. 

Sometimes - I feel like my happiness is my superpower - like - I can help people be happy for a bit. I know that we all have to choose happiness, but sometimes people need to be reminded how it feels or what it looks like - so they can possibly make steps towards it. If I can be that glimpse for them - I want to be.

Frank hasn't been into the store for a couple of weeks...or at least not when I've been working. I'm disappointed when I finish a shift without seeing him (which is a good thing - sobriety isn't bad).

Today - FRANK CAME TO THE GLASS HOUSE!!! <3

And this is what he told me,

I've been staying away because of how I feel about you. And in the infamous words of REO Speedwagon, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

HAHAHAHAHAHA - no. THIS is what Frank said,

Babe (I love it when he calls me that), I've got some bad news...I'm moving to Vegas. (WHAT?! When?! *sad eyes*) Tomorrow. (NO!!!! We haven't even partied together yet) I know...(I'm having a party on the 28th) In Vegas? (No...here *duh*) I can't. My parents are here and they even brought my motorcycle. (imagining him on a motorcycle) I was hoping you'd be in here today so I could say goodbye...(SO SAD - but I understand...good luck...*sniff*)

And he walked out of my life as quickly as he walked into it.

No, I didn't get his number. No, I didn't give him a hug. It would've been appropriate - but I thought it would be creepy.

HELLO, BROWN SUGAR?! You never worry about being creepy any OTHER time.

THAT'S how I know that I liked him...I cared about being creepy.

THAT'S why I'm still single. I haven't mastered my creepy timing...among other things.

*sigh*

 

 

 

 

 

 

ISAGENIX DAY 16

I had the opportunity to attend the Adobe Summit in the place of my coworker.

My mind was BLOWN and I am inspired to take classes...because there is so much that I need to learn when it comes to analytics and computers. And we ALL know how amazing I am at going to school....eek!

hahaha - I would have never thought my career path would lead to analyzing data...it's frightening to try something challenging. 

We'll just figure out a time to squeeze classes in and begin. ;)

I did not take a lunch to the Summit - but I chose wisely with my food - eating 3 different kinds of salad (including a cold, quinoa one) and only 1 scoop of rice - no desserts and plenty of water.

When it came time for snacks - I DID have my snacks packed and added some dried fruit to the mix.

The fact that there was FREE food EVERYWHERE - I feel good about my choices. :)

The only thing I DON'T feel good about is a sore throat that's threatening my demise....

ISAGENIX DAY 15

I'm at the Adobe Summit for my company and there's free everything: FREE!!!

Popcorn, soda, tacos, boos, arcade games, air hockey (beat Jonny!!!), burgers - all FREE!!!

Even watching Imagine Dragons in concert was FREE (I made creepy eye contact with their ginger bassist!!!).

And I ATE. :(

My last shake & supplements were at 5:00 pm, but by 8:30 pm I'd walk 5 MILLION miles (or close to it), in a shoe for the SECOND day, and I was tired (still) & hangry.

I ate about 1 1/2 cups of fruit and 1/2 a veggie wrap...that's it. I know I wasn't supposed to eat, but that's what I chose - I CHOSE - to break meal plan with. :)

Was it as delicious as the french fries the boys had? :( No.

And for a bit there - I HATED being on a meal plan again.

Yet, throughout the night I found that I hated other things more:

>>Sore feet
>>Feeling fat

It takes me forever to get anywhere and the entire time I'm trying to get there - it hurts.

I was TWO people away from Imagine Dragons and I went to sit down because I couldn't handle standing on my feet any longer.

I get anxiety thinking about what I look like when I'm climbing the stairs - limping along - thinking about how far away we parked - simply sitting - helping my friend at the gym.

Not ALL the time, but it happens.

I'm in the process of trying to change and then learning to accept the time it's taking to see and feel that change.

It's tough. It really is. And at the end of some of my days (like today) - I don't feel like it's worth it.

...especially when the veggie wraps are gross ;)

ISAGENIX DAY 14

I took my boot off today!!!

I walk weird and I'm actually slower than usual, but I survived.

My foot still feels sore though...it gives me anxiety thinking about walking around...ANYWHERE :(

I hope I'm losing weight fast enough for it...I'm TRYING SO HARD!!! :)

ISAGENIX DAYS 8- 13

Life happened last week...so blogs didn't. :(

Again - I know it's about priorities, but it seems like I have to prioritize my life into sections of Health and Employment. It's depressing to think my life can be categorized into TWO sections. Of course - within those sections there are more priorities, but this is what it included last week:

>Work from 5 am - 1:30 pm
>Eat what meals I prepped or Cleanse
>Work from 2 pm - 7 pm
>Go home and try to interact with my busy family that's trying to get to bed, so really just sit on the couch by myself for 30-45 minutes
>Shower and sleep
>Repeat (minus the shower some days...don't judge me)

One of my friends at the Glass House is going through some struggles, so we picked up shifts for her. I didn't realize that would equate to five, 14 hour days. I know that there are many people in the world that work harder days with more intense work than I do.

But, this is MY blog and I feel like crying on it right now. ;)

By the end of the week (that culminated in my actual DAY of birth) - I was DONE. I went to a neighbor's house for games with the family...and KNOCKED. OUT. hahaha

I went to bed pretty defeated. I was tired, I wanted to eat EVERYTHING (just because I CAN'T - I'm actually not feeling hungry). My foot's in a stupid boot still. I still don't know why I try to lose weight. I think it's dumb that I even HAVE to lose weight. AND IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! :(

I fell asleep in a pity party that night - not excited to turn 34 the next day.

Yet, when I woke up that next morning...LIFE WAS GREAT <3 

I was happy - full of energy - and even though I was working an 8 hour shift AND cleansing on my BIRTHDAY - my heart was full. I kept smiling and I couldn't help but BE happy.

It's the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE that I haven't had a birthday cake on my birthday.

My heart didn't care. :)

Hozier (my latest Irish obsession) completely narrates my life with his lyrics from Work Song:

"I'm so full of love I can barely eat"

I was completely OVERFILLED with love that day. I know it's corny, but it's true!!!

With the phone calls, texts, voxes, emails, and FB posts - I knew I was loved. 

Just waking up in the morning I FELT I was loved. <3 *Jesus hi-five!!!*

It was a great reminder, to me, that I AM trying my hardest and I AM making progress. It's going to be worth it in the end for ME. Not for anyone else - for ME.

I keep questioning why I'm even doing this. I know it's not for love. I already have that.

It's not for a skinny, white boy (hopefully with ginger hair and an accent...ha!).

It's for ME. 

For me to be HAPPY and to continue to help others be happy and feel loved by being ME.

One of my co worker's told me not to lose weight - because if I got skinny - I wouldn't be ME anymore.

A. I am not trying to be a twig bit...girl (ha!) 

2. I am not defined by my size or weight

Why can't I be Brown Sugar as a size 18 instead of a size 30?

Why can't I be crazy and wild Brown Sugar - but shop at a regular clothing store?

Why can't I be hilarious Brown Sugar and fit into my airplane seat belt?

I CAN!!! 

And for some reason - on 07 March 2015 - the morning of my 34th birthday - Jesus woke me up with that realization in my heart. 

BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

I LOVE MANDY & I LOVE KARAOKE!!! <3

ISAGENIX DAY 7

You guys!!! The best thing happened today!!!

Remember how I prepped a whole bunch of Salmon & Quinoa salads for my meals?

And remember how I actually didn't really like them? But, didn't want to waste them so I was forcing myself to eat them at lunch? I was making myself sick because I would have to guzzle water to finish each bite = sore stomach. :(

Today - I was dreading my meal, but I decided to try eating the salmon and quinoa alone with the salad on the side. Why this had not occurred to me beforehand is most likely from my OCD tendencies of following certain things too literally.

I even found some seasonings I had left at work for my eggs that I used to eat...last month...ha!

Results:

SO. DEE-LISH-US!!!

Like, so delicious that I'm making happy noises when I'm eating!!! Out loud - "NOMNOMNOM" - noises while I eat.

JESUS LOVES ME!!!

It's so great - I can't wait for lunch tomorrow! :)

& I even invested in humongous bowls to mix and eat our salad with. They may look silly, but my salad doesn't tick me off while I'm trying to stir it.

And a happy, eating Brown Sugar at lunch is safer for EVERYONE.

ISAGENIX DAY 6

Guess who rocked out her arm "Push" muscles tonight?

BROWN SUGAR

Guess who bought new shelves for her shower tonight?

BROWN SUGAR

Guess who has to repent for the excessive amounts of swearing because the new suction cup shelving for the shower required her "Push" muscles to work, but they refused and it took her 30 minutes to get the stupid corner shelf to stick and now she is in bed later than she wants, blogging with her phone as close to her hands as possible because moving her arms hurt that much?

Hahaha - BROWN SUGAR!!!

Today was great - it's finally starting to snow - stuck to my meal plan - napped - worked out & showered (don't act like that's not an accomplishment).

All I need now is forgiveness for cussing and healing for my arms. :)

ISAGENIX DAY 5

HAPPY BROWN SUGAR MONTH 2015!!!

Sad Brown Sugar :(

This is the month that I do whatever I want - every day - to celebrate ME.

It usually includes enormous amounts of chocolate, traveling, eating out with my sister, and partying with my friends.

Today it included 3 hours of church, 8 Sunbeams (y'all should've heard me LAY. IT. DOWN), my boot, and meal prep.

I'm LAAAAAAME!!! :(

Although...I'm actually not feeling hungry. :) 

I'm still tired, but I'll be adding workouts next week...so that should do something to my energy levels...ha!

And there are a plethora of ways to celebrate Brown Sugar Month!!!

I just never thought that losing weight/inches would be a way to celebrate ME.

I'm feeling less lame already :)

ISAGENIX DAY 4

Cleanse Day 2 CRUSHED!!!

The weekend really screws me up when it comes to time.

It's fun to stay up late, sleep in (a little), and visit Ohana...but with all my talking story - I forget to take my supplements at the right time.

SO...hopefully that doesn't make me fat...ter. Ha!

I don't know if this is working (it's ONLY Day 4), but JUST IN CASE it is - I don't want to screw it up.

My sister told me she can see it working...in my face. Hahahaaaater!!!

I have noticed that I'm actually not hungry...I think I'm just bored? Or entitled?

Like, when I go to fill up my water bottle - and there's a chocolate covered pretzel shaped like Mickey Mouse - I would eat that without thinking twice. Not because I'm hungry, but because I gave that to my niece/nephew last week and obviously, they don't want it.

I do. :)

But, when I'm pretty limited on what I can have - I just know I can't eat it.

Does it make me sad? Yes.

Am I seeing how often I don't need to eat? Yes.

Am I starving? No.

Am I going to freak out and go crazy on food? Not for 30 days...promise :)