Our Jelly Bean Man

Big Ray, my dad, came to stay with us a week or so ago. Here are a couple stories that make us happy. :)

He has Alzheimer's and it's hard to see it take over his life - mentally and physically - so I want to blog some happy memories to help endure the sad.

Big Ray's favorite place to eat is Red Lobster. SO - I thought I'd be the favorite daughter and take him on a "Daddy/Daughter Date" to his favorite place and let him eat whatever he wanted.

We show up and it's packed. I, honestly, didn't think anyone ate at Red Lobster anymore - especially on a Thursday night. Big Ray sees a packed bench, walks over, and asks if the people there could possibly scoot down so he could sit down. They oblige and then my dad says,

"Can you scoot down a little more, for my daughter to sit down too?"

They look up - to see the biggest, Polynesian girl in the restaurant and I'm all sorts of flustered.

"No - no! No worries - I'm just fine standing."

Big Ray: "Don't be silly. There's plenty of room."

AND - everyone scoots down just a little bit more...for me to sit.

We find ourselves sitting next to a cute couple. They're dressed up nicely, arms interlocked, and most likely out for a nice date. She turns to us and starts a conversation:

Woman: How are you guys tonight?
Big Ray: Great! I brought my assistant. (referring to me)
*woman looks confused*
Me: Ha! I'm not his assistant. I'm his daughter - we're on a Daddy/Daughter date. :)
Woman: OH! We're on a date too. And I call him my daddy.
*I'm speechless*
Me (stuttering): No really - this is my dad. I'm adopted.
*The couple just laughs and Big Ray just sits there - smirking*

I'm pretty sure I told them that I was adopted - five more times before we were seated for dinner.

Big Ray also loves jelly belly's. Popcorn and pear flavored jelly belly's. In large quantities. That he keeps in all of his pockets. You can always tell where he's been - because there are jelly belly's left...like bread crumbs, I guess. HA!

One morning, my sister called down to Big Ray - to remind him to take his medicine. He said not to worry and with the hustle and bustle of four kids - it soon slipped my sister's mind. When she realized that Big Ray hadn't taken his medication - she began to look for him. She assumed that he was getting ready for the day - in the basement.

Bunny: So, I get down to the basement and he's not getting ready. He's LAYING IN YOUR BED!!!

Me: I knew it!!! There were jelly belly's ALL OVER it!!!

*shared laughter*

Me (remembering Bunny just got new leather couches): Oh man! You should have the kids check the couches for jelly belly's!!!

The kids come down in full force - searching the couches in delight. They're laughing and racing to see who can find the most.

Jaden holds his hand up - full of jelly belly's - over his head, and yells, "It's like a treasure hunt!!!" :)

I will gladly tell people at restaurants that I'm on a date with my dad. I will gladly come home to jelly belly's in my bed. I will gladly send my nieces/nephews on jelly belly treasure hunts in the furniture.

Because that will mean that Big Ray is still here <3
 

Jesus Wants Me for a SuuuunBEAM

I'm not the most serious type...probably because I'm emotionally immature and can't handle emotions...maturely. BUT, I had a good experience the other night that I wanted to share...with whoever reads this. :)

I was asked to come speak to my religious leader on Tuesday night. For some people, this strikes fear into their hearts. Are they being brought to repentance? Are they hiding something so well - that even they - themselves - don't know about it? Are they *shudder* going to be asked to do something?!

I, on the other hand, felt kind of sorry for the guy. I'm new to the area - I live with my sister and cute family that are as faithful as you can get in our religion - I come to church pretty consistently - and I live outside of some of the expectations of our religion - consistently. It's nothing that I advertise (well, except the tattoos) and it's nothing that I hide either. That's why I feel sorry for the guy. He's going to be so excited to meet the Polynesian girl in his ward - only to find out that she's a sinner - and now he's got to figure out a way to inspire her to change her ways and save herself from hellfire and damnation - only to find out that she's perfectly fine where she's at. It's going to be awkward.

I sit down - we start chatting - and I find myself enjoying the meeting. We're talking about Missouri - my experiences there - and how much I love and miss it. We're laughing about the 3-year-old class that I helped out with a couple Sundays ago - that includes his son - and is a handful. There are 10 of the "Sunbeams" (that's their class name) and they are crazy fun - CRAZY being the operative word. He tells me how excited he is that I joined their congregation and wants to know where I am spiritually. I thought things were going so well...ha!

I talked to him frankly - letting him know how much I love God, how much I love Jesus, and how much I love a few other things as well. He was surprised, but not thwarted in any way. His mission that night, was not to preach hellfire and damnation to me. It was to remind me of how much I am loved. He told me that none of us are perfect - but we're trying our hardest. He told me that God wants me to know He loves me. My leader also wanted me to know, that he loved me - just talking to me for a few minutes - he knows how good my heart is.

That's actually what I needed to hear. Ever since I've made different choices in my life - I've had people treat me differently. I've lost people really close to me because they say I've changed as a person and I'm not the same. I'll admit, my actions now - are not the same. But, I've always felt that my heart is and it's hurt a lot to lose people I love - because I'm not worthy of the same blessings they enjoy. I told that to my religious leader and his reply was perfect:
 
"I'm afraid that that's something we don't talk enough about in church. Although the words worth and worthiness are spelled pretty closely - their definitions are completely different. The worth of a person is so much more important than the worthiness that others may think that person is. That's what we need to worry about - the worth of people."

God knew that's what I needed to hear the other night. I may not act like I need to hear it - in fact, I didn't even know I needed to hear it - but it was brought to me, by a short guy in his 30's - that's trying the best he can and that can't wait for me to watch over his 3-year-old son in Sunbeams. :)

May we be the imperfect people that help others feel their worth and our God's love on a daily basis. <3

What in the freak just happened?

*Look what I found when I remembered I had a blog...hahaha*

(Written in January 2012)
Hooray for surprises - but I didn't get to tell you about my flights BACK to the U.S. of A!
I'm listed was a "Companion Flyer" on United Airlines (shout out to Cuzin Lala!) - which means I traveled for a lot less money (when I have it), but on standby. I never complain (because that would be annoying) and I've found that when you fly internationally - you get hooked up with Business Class (BC) most of the time - because no one can afford it - HOLLA! I usually get a lot of blank stares because the people who CAN afford Business Class KNOW that I can't...suckahs!!!

I've managed to fit most of my life into 2 suitcases, but I was bringing back lots of candy in my backpack. I looked like a Tongan Tortoise and when I slammed my backpack down on the belt to have security scan it - I got a weird look from the hot, Dolph Lundgren look-a-like, security guard.

You know what? I DO feel safer with you around <3

Dolph: *looking at my bag* Do you have a laptop in your bag?
Me: *batting my eyes and smiling* No
Dolph: *looking skeptical* Why is it so heavy?
Me: *looking away sheepishly* Because it's filled with candy...
*Dolph almost drops his sword out of surprise*
Me: Don't judge me!!!
Dolph: BAHAHAHA
Me: *walking away, whispering* I love you...

ANYWAYS...I find out that I scored BC and board the plane. There seems to be a lot of confusion in BC and it's when I'm stowing away my Tortoise shell and ukulele - that I realize it's over my seat. Another couple was also flying standby, and they were told they were sitting together - but somehow the boyfriend got knocked to Economy. The flight attendant told us there was nothing we could do about the situation and made the gentleman move to Economy. Being a skeptic on the whole "love" thing - I sat down next to the distraught girlfriend, made myself cozy, and fell asleep.
HA! Rin-Dizzle raised me better than that ;). I waited til the flight attendant turned her back, picked up all of my stuff, found the boyfriend, and switched him seats. There's more to life than Business Class, right?....AND

• The boyfriend had an aisle seat. I wouldn't have traded seats if my Tongan-ness would've had to ride 8 hours, literally and physically, squished in between innocent patrons.
• Maybe with this act of kindness - the travel gods would have mercy on my next flight - and let me make it to Utah.
• Now, when people cry about Economy on international flights - I too, can cry along with them.
• I'm was warming up to the concept of love again ;)

I'm at the very front of Economy - with the mesh curtain separating the common folk from the pleasantries of BC. BC has reverse seating - so there are two men, facing me (through the mesh/iron curtain).

I'm trying my hardest to not be the largest person on the airplane (FAIL) and to not take up too much space. The man sitting in the aisle seat across from the iron curtain keeps staring at me.

*I know we all have "invisible audiences" - where we think people are watching us - somewhere - but it's our own self conscienceness. Living in Germany (and pretty much everywhere I've been) - has taught me that my "invisible audience" is REAL and that everyone in Germany stares at me. Ask anyone who went in public with me - I blog truth! Germany has no idea what Polynesians are. Their migrant workers are Turkish and Persian. I don't look like the Africans they're familiar with. I'm not of Latin descent. So it makes sense that they stare. It doesn't hurt that I'm HOT either - hahaha!*

The man staring at me - doesn't creep me out. I've grown accustomed to this behavior and just smile and fall back asleep. I notice though, that all the flight attendants keep checking up on him personally and filling his glass with more spirits each time they pass. They speak in German. The men shake hands vigorously, while patting him on the shoulder. The women kiss his face and hold his hand while they speak. He's an older man and I figure he's either a political figure or a frequent flyer. He's also doing a great job fitting the stereotype of a German drinker. The man has not stopped drinking since the flight began. Why he's taken an interest in me is beyond my understanding. He even waved to me during dinner. Um, hello. Yeah - my dinner is great too - thanks!

The plane finally lands and we all make our way through customs and to the baggage claim. As I'm waiting - someone pulls their luggage cart next time mine and stops.

Me: *slowly looking to my left*

German Man...let's call him Karl: Hallo!
Me: Hallo!
Karl: You're from Hawaii, aren't you?!
Me: Yes I am. (Don't judge me - I'm just glad he knew about Hawa'ii and I claim it anyways)
Karl: Oh, I love Hawaii!!! My wife and I vacation there a lot. The Hawaiian people remind me of the Germans. We are very similar, you know.
Me: No you're not!
Karl: Sure we are! Very warm and friendly!
Me: hahaha - that's actually the opposite of what I found in Germany.
Karl: hahaha - I noticed you on the flight! I kept staring at you and waving.
Me: I saw that! Thank you! :)
Karl: I was waving at you because of our dinner.We had salmon!!! And I know how much your people love salmon - so I wanted to give you my dinner!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

I don't know what it is about me - but people love to say crazy things (most of the time socially incorrect things) to me....and give me their food. ;)

What Karl didn't know is that salmon isn't native to the islands of Hawaii. We don't eat salmon there.
What Karl DID know is that Polynesians have a diet of fish and that they would gladly have taken his offer for free airline food. :)

We parted ways - I made it through customs with my insane amount of German goodness - and the travel gods DID bless me to make my next flight.

I can't wait for something like this to happen again...tomorrow ;)

Reunited and it feels so gooood!

I think the hardest part of being back is answering the questions:
Hey! Where have you been?

• Oh - I just got back from Germany!

Germany?! But I thought you moved to Australia!

• Heh - yeah...that didn't work out.

So, you moved to Germany?!

• Yeah...that didn't work out either.

What are you doing back?

• *looking helplessly around* Looking for work?

Really? Didn't you graduate?

• *smiling big* Nope!

Where are you living?

• *still smiling big* Ah, you know - wherever I fall asleep!

Hahaha - really?!

• *wishing I was back in Germany*

I didn't expect my life to be where it is right now - but let's be honest...I've kinda lived my life (the last few years at least) with no real expectations. I've always been taken care of (props to Jesus!) and ended with a few stories here and there. :)

And today - as well as every other day - I am thankful for friends and family that have lived through my stories - chapters, novels, and sometimes monologues at a time - and are still willing to let me edit them over and over - without complaint.

Sometimes those friends - just happen to find you again on facebook - and after 15+ years - you meet up at a Cafe Rio in Lehi, Utah to discuss the Reader's Digest version of each other. Over nachos, salad, and mint lemonade (DEEE-LISH) - we talked, laughed, met each others' kids (Bunny's children, mind you), and relished in the past that - for the most part - only I remembered. ;) It's so nice to have history with people - even when it's been over a decade since you last saw them. <3

Sometimes those friends - are heaven sent - by way of Kekaha, Hawaii - then Logan, Utah - then Lyman, Wyoming - and now Elko, Nevada. We've only known each other for 5 years - but oh, what a glorious 5 years it has been. ;) We are blessed enough to have our cousins, The Weights, with us for Spring Break!!! It's a four hour drive - and it can't be a pretty one - so we are indeed grateful - no HONORED - that they arrived tonight. The kids are so happy to be together - and all of the adults are happy to be together too. It's days like these - that I'm reminded of the history I have with people I've only known a short time. That's a miracle to me - even more of a miracle than the fact that we're related through our white family at least 4 generations back - but the kids still look like first cousins. <3

At the end of the day like this one - the questions I hate to answer don't seem so daunting anymore. People who truly know my story - don't mind hearing about the "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" parts. In fact, they add a few optional adventures as well.

Tonight - the adventure was break time for mommies (they headed to another showing of The Hunger Games) while Auntie (#1 status, remember?) stayed home with the 7 kiddies. I think the only challenge I have - was to get them to fall asleep by watching a movie...

We've already watched Chicken Little and now they're watching the old school Charlie & The Chocolate Factory...but I'm deathly afraid of the Oompa Loompas...so I'm hiding upstairs...writing this blog.

HAHAHA - #1 AUNTIE!!!

Practice Makes Perfect...

Brown Sugar Month came and went - and I didn't touch my blogspot...that's aptly named after - ME. 

I shared faaaaacts about myself on facebook for 29 days straight!! If that's not testimony against my ADHD - than it's certainly in favor of my OCD tendencies. ;)

People told me to start a Twitter account - but I'm so wrapped up in me that I think it would actually hurt my feelings to NOT have people follow me. Do you know how nerve wracking it is - to post a story about my heart and have only 9 people "like" it? hahaha Actually - not that nerve wracking, but it made me think twice about what I was sharing. ;) 

So, I figured - let's transfer my habit of posting on facebook - to my blogspot. Then - I can practice my writing - share my randomness in more detail - and maybe help a few people smile on the way.

Today we celebrated my niece's 9th birthday!!!

I'm trying to take over the world as #1 Auntie and eventually fade out my brother, Ladybug, as a contender - so I'd be #1 Person-That's-Not-My-Parents-or-Jesus (name under review). 

I made my niece a poster size head of herself, put it on a stick, and held it in front of my face while I sang "Happy Birthday" to wake her up - first thing this morning. If that's not creepy cool - I don't know what is!!! 

My little brother and I have made it a habit - to shout "Happy Birthday" all day to the person whose birthday it is. These are to be random as well as in answer to any question or conversation the Birthday Person is apart of. Here's one of our many successes today:

*Emily walks in to the living room*

Me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Ladybug: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Emily: Um, thanks...hey mom?

Ladybug & Me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Bunny: Yes?

Emily: Can I -

Ladybug: You can HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Emily: Can I have a piece of -

Me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Bunny: *glaring at us* Can you what?

Emily: Can I - 

Ladybug & Me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

*both of us laughing hysterically*

Like I said - #1

Our family also has a favorite game called "What If". It's a silly game of  silly questions and silly answers - dedicated to the Birthday Person. If you've never played it - I'll ask someone to post up instructions on Pinterest for you...BAHAHA

ANYWAYS - here's a list of some of my favorite questions that the Christensens came up with tonight:

• What if Emily was raised by boogers?
• What if Emily was a rainbow unicorn?
• What if Emily was a ninja? (which is funny because she's Asian - get it? NINJA? Asian? I mean - minus the "knows no martial arts" - she's already there, ethnically...hahaha)
• What if Emily was a dumb donkey?

I mentioned this was silly, right? :)

With a plethora of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" shouts - lots of laughter - filled in with strawberry shortcake - hugs - presents - and games - another birthday for the Christensens was successfully celebrated.

<3 MY FAMILY <3

 

SUPLISE!!!

Let's do a quick survey before I begin this one:


Who actually thought that Brown Sugar would stay in Europe permanently?


*looking around*


I guess that would be 1 vote - MY vote.


And WHO might have prayed that Brown Sugar would come back to the States?


*looking around*


You're all FIRED!!! ;) hahaha


I'm baaaaaaack!


I'll be honest when I say that I was sad to leave Germany, my family, and my 3 friends that I made there. I'll miss them, the food, the landscape, the chocolate, and the idea that I was living in Europe.


I feel close enough to you all that I can share a condensed version of how I ended up back in the States:

• My visa expires on 16 Jan 2012
• I was applying everywhere on base to extend visa - but wasn't getting hired
• Finally applied to a temp agency that "hires EVERYONE"
• Aforementioned temp agency ran a background check and found 2 warrants in Utah and apparently doesn't hire EVERYONE
• Researched warrants and would be unable to pay them off by visa expiration date because
• the only work I found in Germany was cleaning houses and babysitting (flashback to 8th grade jobs)
• Prayed really hard about what I should do
• Complained really loud when it was to move back to the States
• Skyped nightly to plan my trip back and
• Lied to my parents every time we talked - so I could surprise them :)

And surprise Big Ray & Rin-Dizzle - we did. :)


I hid out at Bunny's for a couple of days after I landed. She and Ladybug planned a New Year's Dinner at Cracker Barrel (a little tradition of ours) with Big Ray and Rin-Dizzle.


The night came and we were in a mad rush to get to the West Valley Cracker Barrel. It's halfway for all of us - but still a good 45 minutes away.


As we're rounding up the kids-socks-and-shoes, getting coats on, and heading to the car - we realize that there's dog poop on the bottom of shoes and it's been tracked throughout the house. 


Lare-Bear acts as quickly as he can to clean up the mess - but it's serious enough to enlist the carpet cleaner's skills  - and stress starts to creep into our hearts.


We're running a good 30 minutes late at this point - but we pile into the cars and begin the journey...only to find out that the car Bunny is driving has a flat tire!


We stop at the nearest gas station to fill it up - but the tire spits out the air faster than we can feed it. That leaves us in Clinton - a good 45 minutes away from our surprise. Stress has won and we return home to figure things out. 


When we call Big Ray & Rin-Dizzle to tell them our luck - they insist that we do the dinner another night. 


Bunny: NO - WE WILL EAT AT CRACKER BARREL TONIGHT!!! AND WE WILL BE HAPPY!!!


We change the location to the Cracker Barrel closest to us and find a ride from Bunny's next door neighbor. No shame!


We keep texting Ladybug and make sure that they're all seated before we even leave the safety of the car. 


Lare-Bear and Bunny head in with the kids and leave me with a cell phone. They decided I would browse the country shop while they get settled in - and then they would text me for my grand entrance. 


I knew what my parents' reactions would be:


Rin-Dizzle: *crying*
Big Ray: Are you serious?!
Rin-Dizzle: *still crying*


Hugs would ensue and blahblahblah.


I receive the text and head into the eating area. 


Emy: *pointing away from me walking in* Look at that TV!


*Big Ray and Rin-Dizzle are sitting at the end of the table across from each other.*


*I walk to them and put my hands on their shoulders*


Big Ray: *turns his head and looks at me in shock* >silent<


Rin-Dizzle: *looks at me - looks at Big Ray - shaking her head* >silent<


Me: *smiling - expecting the reactions I had planned*


Big Ray: *still silent*


Rin-Dizzle: *still silent*


Me: *feeling awkward with my hands on their shoulders*


*At least 15-20 seconds go by and there's still complete silence*


Me: *completely thrown off by the silence of my parents* Willkommen!!! (Yeah - I'm so thrown off by this interaction that I say "Welcome" to myself in GERMAN)


Rin-Dizzle: *finally stands, hugs me, and begins to cry*


Me: FINALLY!!!


Hugs ensue and blahblahblah. ;)

Ninja Vanish!!!

Have I told you that I love Germany? Because I do.

And everyone keeps telling me how magical Christmas is in Germany - so I wake up every morning excited to see that magic begin. Word on the street is that Christmas was invented here. Oh, really? So were a couple of World Wars....real talk...hahaha - ANYHOO -

With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays - I've found myself talking incessantly to my cousin about my memories. I'm probably driving her nuts - but I realized that as much as I talk a big game of not being homesick - I really miss all of you this time of year.

Please, let me share one of my favorite memories of the Christmas season. Hopefully, it will help to warm your heart and remind you of what's important throughout the year.

Growing up, our family had a great tradition of being "Secret Santas" for certain families that were having a hard time. It was fun picking out gifts for others, wrapping them, and then leaving them for the families without being noticed. And believe you me - I am EASY to notice.

My favorite year of Secret Santa was a particularly cold Christmas season that kept a lot of ice on the ground. The "elves" that night were: Bunny, Me, and Ladybug. Big Ray & Rin-Dizzle were in the getaway white van with wood interior and were whisper shouting instructions to us. I usually get giggly at some point of the delivery - it's cold, we're trying to be sneaky, and we're slipping and sliding all over the place. There are only 2 flights of stairs (they switchback onto the porch) and the last steps and porch are encased in a railing. The first flight wasn't hard for us to execute. Once we got up to the porch we take inventory:

• laundry baskets full of gifts - check
• large Tongan girl breathing hard - check
• small Asian girl buried under one of the baskets - check
• Jungle Book's Mowgli....wait - where is Ladybug?

It doesn't matter - we haven't knocked yet and the porch light flips on. ABORT! ABORT!

Bunny and I throw the baskets onto the porch and make a mad dash to the car. We fore go the bottom steps and run through the yard. We're making a mad dash to the - wait, where in the hell are our parents with the van?! Turns out Big Ray had to turn around...which meant driving down the street?! Bunny and I are freaking out and whisper yelling at each other.

Suddenly, we hear Ladybug's urgent whisper. We turn in slow motion to see him up on the porch - buried under the baskets we just threw. We are all whisper yelling at this point - him at us - us at him - our parents at us - it's Christmas CHAOS.

*Ladybug struggling to get off the porch*
Bunny & Me (whisper shouting): hurry up!!! we're going to get caught!!!

*I see my parents parking a couple houses down the street and I'm G-O-N-E. No time for Semper Fi - this big gurl already knows how long it's going to take to get to the car.*

*Bunny sees my courage and takes off after me*

Ladybug (panic whisper): wait!!! wait for me!!! 

*By this time, Bunny and I are laughing so hard and it takes everything to just open the van doors and jump in.*

Rin-Dizzle (whisper shouting): where is your brother?!

Bunny and I are too busy laughing and trying to breathe. All we can do is point to the house.

Big Ray: *putting the van in gear* I see him. We've got to get him before we're all caught.

He brings the van towards the house - and then the most amazing thing happens: Ladybug decides to take the stairs.

Big Ray, Rin-Dizzle, Bunny, and Me (whisper shouting): no!!!

Too late - Ladybug takes his first step, slips, and plummets head first down the last flight of stairs.

Bunny & Me: BAHAHAHA!!!

Ladybug: *whisper crying*

Rin-Dizzle (whisper shouting): devin! get in the car! get - in - the - car!!!

*Ladybug slowly gets up and starts limping to the van.*

Rin-Dizzle (still whisper shouting): hurry! hur-ree!

We open the door for Ladybug as he falls into the van. His face is bloody and there are tears frozen to cheeks. He's lying on the floor behind our parents.

Rin-Dizzle: RAY - DRIVE!!!

Big Ray jerks the van into drive and Ladybug rolls around in pain. Rin-Dizzle turns around to see what has happened to her baby.

Ladybug (yelling): WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! *crying*

*silence*

Rin-Dizzle glares at us from the front seat.

Bunny and I slowly look at each other - then at our mom - and then at our crying brother.

Bunny & Me: BAHAHAHA!!!

Family is what's important...and so is laughter. ;)

<3 Merry Christmas everyone - I love and miss you - wherever you may be!!! <3