What in the freak just happened?

*Look what I found when I remembered I had a blog...hahaha*

(Written in January 2012)
Hooray for surprises - but I didn't get to tell you about my flights BACK to the U.S. of A!
I'm listed was a "Companion Flyer" on United Airlines (shout out to Cuzin Lala!) - which means I traveled for a lot less money (when I have it), but on standby. I never complain (because that would be annoying) and I've found that when you fly internationally - you get hooked up with Business Class (BC) most of the time - because no one can afford it - HOLLA! I usually get a lot of blank stares because the people who CAN afford Business Class KNOW that I can't...suckahs!!!

I've managed to fit most of my life into 2 suitcases, but I was bringing back lots of candy in my backpack. I looked like a Tongan Tortoise and when I slammed my backpack down on the belt to have security scan it - I got a weird look from the hot, Dolph Lundgren look-a-like, security guard.

You know what? I DO feel safer with you around <3

Dolph: *looking at my bag* Do you have a laptop in your bag?
Me: *batting my eyes and smiling* No
Dolph: *looking skeptical* Why is it so heavy?
Me: *looking away sheepishly* Because it's filled with candy...
*Dolph almost drops his sword out of surprise*
Me: Don't judge me!!!
Dolph: BAHAHAHA
Me: *walking away, whispering* I love you...

ANYWAYS...I find out that I scored BC and board the plane. There seems to be a lot of confusion in BC and it's when I'm stowing away my Tortoise shell and ukulele - that I realize it's over my seat. Another couple was also flying standby, and they were told they were sitting together - but somehow the boyfriend got knocked to Economy. The flight attendant told us there was nothing we could do about the situation and made the gentleman move to Economy. Being a skeptic on the whole "love" thing - I sat down next to the distraught girlfriend, made myself cozy, and fell asleep.
HA! Rin-Dizzle raised me better than that ;). I waited til the flight attendant turned her back, picked up all of my stuff, found the boyfriend, and switched him seats. There's more to life than Business Class, right?....AND

• The boyfriend had an aisle seat. I wouldn't have traded seats if my Tongan-ness would've had to ride 8 hours, literally and physically, squished in between innocent patrons.
• Maybe with this act of kindness - the travel gods would have mercy on my next flight - and let me make it to Utah.
• Now, when people cry about Economy on international flights - I too, can cry along with them.
• I'm was warming up to the concept of love again ;)

I'm at the very front of Economy - with the mesh curtain separating the common folk from the pleasantries of BC. BC has reverse seating - so there are two men, facing me (through the mesh/iron curtain).

I'm trying my hardest to not be the largest person on the airplane (FAIL) and to not take up too much space. The man sitting in the aisle seat across from the iron curtain keeps staring at me.

*I know we all have "invisible audiences" - where we think people are watching us - somewhere - but it's our own self conscienceness. Living in Germany (and pretty much everywhere I've been) - has taught me that my "invisible audience" is REAL and that everyone in Germany stares at me. Ask anyone who went in public with me - I blog truth! Germany has no idea what Polynesians are. Their migrant workers are Turkish and Persian. I don't look like the Africans they're familiar with. I'm not of Latin descent. So it makes sense that they stare. It doesn't hurt that I'm HOT either - hahaha!*

The man staring at me - doesn't creep me out. I've grown accustomed to this behavior and just smile and fall back asleep. I notice though, that all the flight attendants keep checking up on him personally and filling his glass with more spirits each time they pass. They speak in German. The men shake hands vigorously, while patting him on the shoulder. The women kiss his face and hold his hand while they speak. He's an older man and I figure he's either a political figure or a frequent flyer. He's also doing a great job fitting the stereotype of a German drinker. The man has not stopped drinking since the flight began. Why he's taken an interest in me is beyond my understanding. He even waved to me during dinner. Um, hello. Yeah - my dinner is great too - thanks!

The plane finally lands and we all make our way through customs and to the baggage claim. As I'm waiting - someone pulls their luggage cart next time mine and stops.

Me: *slowly looking to my left*

German Man...let's call him Karl: Hallo!
Me: Hallo!
Karl: You're from Hawaii, aren't you?!
Me: Yes I am. (Don't judge me - I'm just glad he knew about Hawa'ii and I claim it anyways)
Karl: Oh, I love Hawaii!!! My wife and I vacation there a lot. The Hawaiian people remind me of the Germans. We are very similar, you know.
Me: No you're not!
Karl: Sure we are! Very warm and friendly!
Me: hahaha - that's actually the opposite of what I found in Germany.
Karl: hahaha - I noticed you on the flight! I kept staring at you and waving.
Me: I saw that! Thank you! :)
Karl: I was waving at you because of our dinner.We had salmon!!! And I know how much your people love salmon - so I wanted to give you my dinner!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

I don't know what it is about me - but people love to say crazy things (most of the time socially incorrect things) to me....and give me their food. ;)

What Karl didn't know is that salmon isn't native to the islands of Hawaii. We don't eat salmon there.
What Karl DID know is that Polynesians have a diet of fish and that they would gladly have taken his offer for free airline food. :)

We parted ways - I made it through customs with my insane amount of German goodness - and the travel gods DID bless me to make my next flight.

I can't wait for something like this to happen again...tomorrow ;)