I'm not the most serious type...probably because I'm emotionally immature and can't handle emotions...maturely. BUT, I had a good experience the other night that I wanted to share...with whoever reads this. :)
I was asked to come speak to my religious leader on Tuesday night. For some people, this strikes fear into their hearts. Are they being brought to repentance? Are they hiding something so well - that even they - themselves - don't know about it? Are they *shudder* going to be asked to do something?!
I, on the other hand, felt kind of sorry for the guy. I'm new to the area - I live with my sister and cute family that are as faithful as you can get in our religion - I come to church pretty consistently - and I live outside of some of the expectations of our religion - consistently. It's nothing that I advertise (well, except the tattoos) and it's nothing that I hide either. That's why I feel sorry for the guy. He's going to be so excited to meet the Polynesian girl in his ward - only to find out that she's a sinner - and now he's got to figure out a way to inspire her to change her ways and save herself from hellfire and damnation - only to find out that she's perfectly fine where she's at. It's going to be awkward.
I sit down - we start chatting - and I find myself enjoying the meeting. We're talking about Missouri - my experiences there - and how much I love and miss it. We're laughing about the 3-year-old class that I helped out with a couple Sundays ago - that includes his son - and is a handful. There are 10 of the "Sunbeams" (that's their class name) and they are crazy fun - CRAZY being the operative word. He tells me how excited he is that I joined their congregation and wants to know where I am spiritually. I thought things were going so well...ha!
I talked to him frankly - letting him know how much I love God, how much I love Jesus, and how much I love a few other things as well. He was surprised, but not thwarted in any way. His mission that night, was not to preach hellfire and damnation to me. It was to remind me of how much I am loved. He told me that none of us are perfect - but we're trying our hardest. He told me that God wants me to know He loves me. My leader also wanted me to know, that he loved me - just talking to me for a few minutes - he knows how good my heart is.
That's actually what I needed to hear. Ever since I've made different choices in my life - I've had people treat me differently. I've lost people really close to me because they say I've changed as a person and I'm not the same. I'll admit, my actions now - are not the same. But, I've always felt that my heart is and it's hurt a lot to lose people I love - because I'm not worthy of the same blessings they enjoy. I told that to my religious leader and his reply was perfect:
"I'm afraid that that's something we don't talk enough about in church. Although the words worth and worthiness are spelled pretty closely - their definitions are completely different. The worth of a person is so much more important than the worthiness that others may think that person is. That's what we need to worry about - the worth of people."
God knew that's what I needed to hear the other night. I may not act like I need to hear it - in fact, I didn't even know I needed to hear it - but it was brought to me, by a short guy in his 30's - that's trying the best he can and that can't wait for me to watch over his 3-year-old son in Sunbeams. :)
May we be the imperfect people that help others feel their worth and our God's love on a daily basis. <3
Loved this. Thanks girl.
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