I'm a brat...

I went to the doctor the other week because my foot started  hurting so badly – that I couldn’t walk. It’s an ongoing pain that I’ve had since 2007 that effects both of my feet – but only one at a time. It does NOT include gout, or diabetes, or whatever stereotype there is to assign to large, Polynesians...that I know of. :)

Why not go to the doctor? Because I have no health insurance. Plus, I stopped selling drugs – so it’s harder to afford the copay as well. Don’t worry – I have a legal job – doing legal things – that pay legal taxes – but doesn’t offer health insurance because I’m not legally full time.

Lucky for me – I found out there is a low-income clinic in the city that I work in – and I was in so much pain – I finally went. I was nervous about limping into a clinic – looking all brown and ghetto – but when the doors opened and I saw the amount of minorities in the waiting area – I felt at home! A little Kansas City, MO – right here in Utah!

I, of course, waited in line – and when I could finally step up to the urgent care – I was informed that since I didn’t lie about previous foot pain – I had to see a doctor for preexisting condition. I was treated like an addict – looking for pills and when I made it clear that I wanted someone to look at my foot – I was given a new patient appointment for the following Tuesday…5 days away.

Fine. I took a picture of my foot and played their game. R-est, I-ce, C-ompress, and E-levate all weekend. Sacrificed time with friends and my low rider bike to get better. Here’s what happened when I made it to my appointment that Tuesday:

Dr.: So, you’re having foot problems?
Me: Yup. And I’m coming to you because everyone tells me it could be different things – but I want to know. Do I have the gout? Am I diabetic? Is it a stress fracture? I just want to know what’s going on so I can correct it and move on.
Dr. (looking at my foot): It doesn’t seem too swollen today.
Me: Uh, that’s because I came in last Thursday to see you.

*showing him this picture to prove my sadness* 

Me: I’ve been doing that R.I.C.E. thing and taking four of the 200mg which makes 800 mg of ibuprofen every 8 hours or so for pain. I alternate it with Tylenol if it’s really bad though. And I know that my weight plays into this. You’ve seen my weight – but I’m Polynesian and we’re made of steel – so that makes us weigh more, right? :)

Dr. (taking notes and not really paying attention to me): Mmmmhmmmm.

Me: I started weights again and I’m trying to lose weight – but how can I lose weight and exercise, if I can’t even walk? It’s frustrating…

Dr (taking my foot in his hand and squeezing it lightly): Does this hurt? Can you feel it?

Me: It’s uncomfortable – but not too painful. Yes – I can feel that.

Dr: Well, the fact that you can feel that means you’re not diabetic. People with diabetes can’t feel their feet. Do you have any open wounds? Or wounds that won’t heal?

Me: No.

Dr: That’s another sign of diabetes as well. I mean, there’s a little discoloration in your leg…

Me: Because I’m brown? :)

Dr (ignoring my racial humor – still holding my foot): Can you move your toes?

Me: Yup.

Dr: Well, you can move your toes so that means it’s not a stress fracture. And you say that your pain is in the top of your foot – no so much the big toe. I don’t think it’s gout. I think that you have a condition called planter’s fasciitis. It’s pretty painful – but can be dealt with stretches and ibuprofen.

Me: But, I don’t have any heel pain.

Dr: Has your heel ever hurt?

Me: Yes. But, that’s not the case this time.

Dr: I’ve got some stretching exercises that I can print out for you. And we can get you some ibuprofen 800s.

Me: What’s the difference between those and me taking the 4 pills of 200 mg?

Dr: Is that what you’ve been taking? I thought you were taking 4 pills of 800 mg! You can stick to taking the 4 pills of 200 mg.

Me (now that I know that he hasn’t been listening – I’m kind of annoyed): Are you a doctor? :)

Dr: I’m a PA.

Me: Do you volunteer here? :)

PA: This is my full time job.

Me: Oh….

*PA moves to the computer where he starts typing in my file and ignoring me – so I get bored and move to where I’m facing him and watching him type*

PA (while he types): So, what you’ll need to do – is take ibuprofen and refrain from activities that hurt your foot.

Me: Can I lift weights?

PA (still typing): If it doesn’t hurt your foot.

Me: Can I ride my bike?

PA (looking up): Did you ride your bike to the clinic today?

Me: Does it look like I rode my bike here? :)

PA: *stops typing and stares at me*

Me: NO – I have a low rider bike that I just bought and I want to be able to ride it.

PA (back to typing): If it doesn’t hurt your foot.

Me: Can I go clubbing this Saturday? :)

PA: I’d probably refrain from that for a while.

*PA typing in silence*

Me: So I can’t do things that will hurt my foot?

PA (still typing): Nope.

*PA typing in silence*

Me: *DRAMATIC SIGH*

PA (looking up): Yes?

Me (trying really hard to be serious): SO…I can’t go running? 

PA (not amused): No.

*PA typing in silence*

Me: *DRAMATIC SIGH*

PA (looking up): Yes?

Me: I’m sad because *sigh*....it’s just that *sigh*…I’m going to have to tell the guys on my Ragnar team that I can’t do it this year. And I was the anchor!!!

PA (stands and heads to the door): I have your exercises printed off for you and you’re good to go.

HAHAHA 

ANOTHER post about Frozen...

As my family sits down to watch Disney's Frozen for the FIFTH time this week - I'm escaping to the computer room to blog about it.

I'm crazy enough to apply all movies to my own life. Crazy - fatheaded - imaginative? Either way - here's how Frozen would play out in my life:

THE CAST:

PRINCE HANS = played by any gingers I've dated in the past...and most likely, the future

KRISTOFF = still holding auditions

OLAF = LADYBUG (our little brother)

PRINCESS ELSA =  PRINCESS BUNNY
PRINCESS ANNA = PRINCESS BROWN SUGAR

It's amazing how well the casting worked out...it really is.

BROWN SUGAR'S "FROZEN"

Princess Bunny is hiding her magical freezing powers and ninja skills from the kingdom.

Princess Brown Sugar is kickin' it at the parlay - sees a ginger - and falls in love. That's how it ALWAYS happens to her.

Princess Bunny freaks out - freezes errbody - runs away - and in the process - creates Ladybug - who is a little delusional at times, yet endearing...and our little brother - so our stories are never complete without him.

Princess Brown Sugar goes after Princess Bunny - even though her feet hurt and she's hungry.

After a lot of singing and dancing - which primarily come from Princess Brown Sugar - Princess Bunny accidentally freezes Princess Brown Sugar's heart!!!

Here's the twist (because our lives follow the movie pretty well until this part):

Princess Bunny feels bad that Princess Brown Sugar is hungry and now cold - so she walks down the mountain with her to find help. They get to their kingdom - only to find out that the ginger was in fact, a GINGER, who has no soul and has tried to take over!!!

Princess Bunny uses her FreezingPowerNinjaSkills (which have become ONE through her self realization in the wilderness) - and defeats the handsome, but evil ginger. The kingdom is no longer afraid of her - and welcome her back with open arms and fortune cookies.

Ladybug has already had his heart broken by three lame girls and is now on the top of the charts for music, self help books, and comfort food cookbooks.

But, where's Princess Brown Sugar?

Oh, yeah - because she lives in a kingdom full of white boys that have pets, but don't like big, brown girls - there's no one to save her from her frozen heart...and she dies.

Anyone?...Anyone?

Well - dying is a LITTLE dramatic...especially since this is my autobiography. 

Maybe...she stays frozen until dinner time. 

That's when Princess Bunny and Ladybug bring her some hot cocoa and cookies - the ice melts (leaving a hole where her heart should be) - and they get back to the castle in time for a Bon Jovi concert.

THE END

Just in time for Brown Sugar Month 2014!!! hahaha

BROWN SUGAR FACTS 2013

*CORRECTION* You may have been misled, in a previous letter, to believe that Brown Sugar graduated from Utah State University in 2009. She did not and the person that told you is a dirty liar and should not be trusted.

YOWZA!!!

I don’t know if you’ve been keeping count – but it’s been more than THREE years since my last letter. And as much as I’d like to think that your heart has a deep hole, that only Brown Sugar can fill – I realize that it probably does. That’s why I started these letters in the first place – to heal your heart. J

Be sad no longer – I bring you words of inspiration, pictures of wonder, and random facts of awesomeness…You’re welcome. <3

We celebrate Jesus in December (and if you’re super righteous, like me, everyday). We celebrate Brown Sugar in March (and if you’re super rad, like me, everyday). It only makes sense to send Brown Sugar Facts in March!

HIGHLIGHTS OF BEING 29, 30, & 31:

§  I still tell people I’m whatever age they think I am (I average about 25)

§  I was diagnosed with ADHD..........why are you laughing?

§  I lived in GERMANY!!! I was the largest, loudest, brownest person there and I LA-HO-VED it!!! Germans aren’t the hugging type – but I TRIED!!!...And no one pressed charges. ;)

§  I tried my hand at costume making with felt. I even wore one of my costumes to The Potato Bowl (in Boise, ID) and was on ESPN!!!

§  Aaaaaaaand – I’m back in Utah…*sigh*

I’m pretty sure I planned my life differently than how it’s turning out to be. I’m also pretty sure that I never planned on living in Germany or making a Christmas tree costume that was so comfortable.

I have some regrets – but I have no complaints. I’m happy, I’m brown, I’m blessed, and I’m loved. Thank you for being a part of my life – planned or unplanned – I’m happy because of you. I love you and can’t wait to see what year 32 brings!!!

HAPPY BROWN SUGAR MONTH!!!

Last year, I posted random facts about myself on Facebook. I wanted to help people understand why I’m crazy…it’s just how Jesus made me. J I’ve decided to include a few random facts (with pictures) – randomly – in my letters. I hope you enjoy them – and if you wonder what other facts you may have missed out on – check out my blogspot for this year’s complete set:

www.biggitybrownsugar.blogspot.com

Remember – I’m ADHD, so they probably won’t be posted until April. ;) (or March 2014...hahaha)

FACT #1: I was my high school’s Homecoming Queen.

Fact #2: I sang a solo for our 4^th grade production of The Nutcracker. Probably because I sing like Beyoncé & probably because I didn't fit in the candy cane costumes.

Fact #3: Whatchu know about paneled silk shirts, dog tag necklaces, & the skating rink every Friday night in 6^th grade? Brown Sugar didn't play in the 90's!!!

Fact #4: I have ALWAYS hated camping.

Fact #5: My due date was 01 March, but I wasn't birthed until 07 March. For the longest time – I thought that was the reason I was brown. I was overcooked.

Fact #6: When I was in 2^nd grade – I won second place in a coloring contest. Over the years I've kept up with my talent – so I decided to send you some of my recent work…and a picture of me in 2^nd grade. J

***I actually colored a picture and sent it out with my letter for these lucky recipients...but I don't think I sent out half of them...ha! SORRY BOUT IT!!!***

Fact #7; Once I wore my Halloween costume for 3 days after the holiday. My brothers begged me to change my clothes – I made them come into the gym & take pictures of me instead.

Fact #8: My mother hated me.

Fact #9; When I was in 3^rd grade, I was pretending to be Stevie Wonder – to get my brother to laugh. I had my sunglasses on, my eyes closed, and I was singing my heart out…when I fell down the stairs. I got my brother to laugh.

Fact #10; The VW Bus/Vanagon is my FAVORITE car. In high school, if I saw one, anywhere, I'd stop & take a picture…and yes – I dressed like that.

***May I be better at posting on my blog and sending out ALL of my Brown Sugar Letters this year***

Our Jelly Bean Man

Big Ray, my dad, came to stay with us a week or so ago. Here are a couple stories that make us happy. :)

He has Alzheimer's and it's hard to see it take over his life - mentally and physically - so I want to blog some happy memories to help endure the sad.

Big Ray's favorite place to eat is Red Lobster. SO - I thought I'd be the favorite daughter and take him on a "Daddy/Daughter Date" to his favorite place and let him eat whatever he wanted.

We show up and it's packed. I, honestly, didn't think anyone ate at Red Lobster anymore - especially on a Thursday night. Big Ray sees a packed bench, walks over, and asks if the people there could possibly scoot down so he could sit down. They oblige and then my dad says,

"Can you scoot down a little more, for my daughter to sit down too?"

They look up - to see the biggest, Polynesian girl in the restaurant and I'm all sorts of flustered.

"No - no! No worries - I'm just fine standing."

Big Ray: "Don't be silly. There's plenty of room."

AND - everyone scoots down just a little bit more...for me to sit.

We find ourselves sitting next to a cute couple. They're dressed up nicely, arms interlocked, and most likely out for a nice date. She turns to us and starts a conversation:

Woman: How are you guys tonight?
Big Ray: Great! I brought my assistant. (referring to me)
*woman looks confused*
Me: Ha! I'm not his assistant. I'm his daughter - we're on a Daddy/Daughter date. :)
Woman: OH! We're on a date too. And I call him my daddy.
*I'm speechless*
Me (stuttering): No really - this is my dad. I'm adopted.
*The couple just laughs and Big Ray just sits there - smirking*

I'm pretty sure I told them that I was adopted - five more times before we were seated for dinner.

Big Ray also loves jelly belly's. Popcorn and pear flavored jelly belly's. In large quantities. That he keeps in all of his pockets. You can always tell where he's been - because there are jelly belly's left...like bread crumbs, I guess. HA!

One morning, my sister called down to Big Ray - to remind him to take his medicine. He said not to worry and with the hustle and bustle of four kids - it soon slipped my sister's mind. When she realized that Big Ray hadn't taken his medication - she began to look for him. She assumed that he was getting ready for the day - in the basement.

Bunny: So, I get down to the basement and he's not getting ready. He's LAYING IN YOUR BED!!!

Me: I knew it!!! There were jelly belly's ALL OVER it!!!

*shared laughter*

Me (remembering Bunny just got new leather couches): Oh man! You should have the kids check the couches for jelly belly's!!!

The kids come down in full force - searching the couches in delight. They're laughing and racing to see who can find the most.

Jaden holds his hand up - full of jelly belly's - over his head, and yells, "It's like a treasure hunt!!!" :)

I will gladly tell people at restaurants that I'm on a date with my dad. I will gladly come home to jelly belly's in my bed. I will gladly send my nieces/nephews on jelly belly treasure hunts in the furniture.

Because that will mean that Big Ray is still here <3
 

Jesus Wants Me for a SuuuunBEAM

I'm not the most serious type...probably because I'm emotionally immature and can't handle emotions...maturely. BUT, I had a good experience the other night that I wanted to share...with whoever reads this. :)

I was asked to come speak to my religious leader on Tuesday night. For some people, this strikes fear into their hearts. Are they being brought to repentance? Are they hiding something so well - that even they - themselves - don't know about it? Are they *shudder* going to be asked to do something?!

I, on the other hand, felt kind of sorry for the guy. I'm new to the area - I live with my sister and cute family that are as faithful as you can get in our religion - I come to church pretty consistently - and I live outside of some of the expectations of our religion - consistently. It's nothing that I advertise (well, except the tattoos) and it's nothing that I hide either. That's why I feel sorry for the guy. He's going to be so excited to meet the Polynesian girl in his ward - only to find out that she's a sinner - and now he's got to figure out a way to inspire her to change her ways and save herself from hellfire and damnation - only to find out that she's perfectly fine where she's at. It's going to be awkward.

I sit down - we start chatting - and I find myself enjoying the meeting. We're talking about Missouri - my experiences there - and how much I love and miss it. We're laughing about the 3-year-old class that I helped out with a couple Sundays ago - that includes his son - and is a handful. There are 10 of the "Sunbeams" (that's their class name) and they are crazy fun - CRAZY being the operative word. He tells me how excited he is that I joined their congregation and wants to know where I am spiritually. I thought things were going so well...ha!

I talked to him frankly - letting him know how much I love God, how much I love Jesus, and how much I love a few other things as well. He was surprised, but not thwarted in any way. His mission that night, was not to preach hellfire and damnation to me. It was to remind me of how much I am loved. He told me that none of us are perfect - but we're trying our hardest. He told me that God wants me to know He loves me. My leader also wanted me to know, that he loved me - just talking to me for a few minutes - he knows how good my heart is.

That's actually what I needed to hear. Ever since I've made different choices in my life - I've had people treat me differently. I've lost people really close to me because they say I've changed as a person and I'm not the same. I'll admit, my actions now - are not the same. But, I've always felt that my heart is and it's hurt a lot to lose people I love - because I'm not worthy of the same blessings they enjoy. I told that to my religious leader and his reply was perfect:
 
"I'm afraid that that's something we don't talk enough about in church. Although the words worth and worthiness are spelled pretty closely - their definitions are completely different. The worth of a person is so much more important than the worthiness that others may think that person is. That's what we need to worry about - the worth of people."

God knew that's what I needed to hear the other night. I may not act like I need to hear it - in fact, I didn't even know I needed to hear it - but it was brought to me, by a short guy in his 30's - that's trying the best he can and that can't wait for me to watch over his 3-year-old son in Sunbeams. :)

May we be the imperfect people that help others feel their worth and our God's love on a daily basis. <3

What in the freak just happened?

*Look what I found when I remembered I had a blog...hahaha*

(Written in January 2012)
Hooray for surprises - but I didn't get to tell you about my flights BACK to the U.S. of A!
I'm listed was a "Companion Flyer" on United Airlines (shout out to Cuzin Lala!) - which means I traveled for a lot less money (when I have it), but on standby. I never complain (because that would be annoying) and I've found that when you fly internationally - you get hooked up with Business Class (BC) most of the time - because no one can afford it - HOLLA! I usually get a lot of blank stares because the people who CAN afford Business Class KNOW that I can't...suckahs!!!

I've managed to fit most of my life into 2 suitcases, but I was bringing back lots of candy in my backpack. I looked like a Tongan Tortoise and when I slammed my backpack down on the belt to have security scan it - I got a weird look from the hot, Dolph Lundgren look-a-like, security guard.

You know what? I DO feel safer with you around <3

Dolph: *looking at my bag* Do you have a laptop in your bag?
Me: *batting my eyes and smiling* No
Dolph: *looking skeptical* Why is it so heavy?
Me: *looking away sheepishly* Because it's filled with candy...
*Dolph almost drops his sword out of surprise*
Me: Don't judge me!!!
Dolph: BAHAHAHA
Me: *walking away, whispering* I love you...

ANYWAYS...I find out that I scored BC and board the plane. There seems to be a lot of confusion in BC and it's when I'm stowing away my Tortoise shell and ukulele - that I realize it's over my seat. Another couple was also flying standby, and they were told they were sitting together - but somehow the boyfriend got knocked to Economy. The flight attendant told us there was nothing we could do about the situation and made the gentleman move to Economy. Being a skeptic on the whole "love" thing - I sat down next to the distraught girlfriend, made myself cozy, and fell asleep.
HA! Rin-Dizzle raised me better than that ;). I waited til the flight attendant turned her back, picked up all of my stuff, found the boyfriend, and switched him seats. There's more to life than Business Class, right?....AND

• The boyfriend had an aisle seat. I wouldn't have traded seats if my Tongan-ness would've had to ride 8 hours, literally and physically, squished in between innocent patrons.
• Maybe with this act of kindness - the travel gods would have mercy on my next flight - and let me make it to Utah.
• Now, when people cry about Economy on international flights - I too, can cry along with them.
• I'm was warming up to the concept of love again ;)

I'm at the very front of Economy - with the mesh curtain separating the common folk from the pleasantries of BC. BC has reverse seating - so there are two men, facing me (through the mesh/iron curtain).

I'm trying my hardest to not be the largest person on the airplane (FAIL) and to not take up too much space. The man sitting in the aisle seat across from the iron curtain keeps staring at me.

*I know we all have "invisible audiences" - where we think people are watching us - somewhere - but it's our own self conscienceness. Living in Germany (and pretty much everywhere I've been) - has taught me that my "invisible audience" is REAL and that everyone in Germany stares at me. Ask anyone who went in public with me - I blog truth! Germany has no idea what Polynesians are. Their migrant workers are Turkish and Persian. I don't look like the Africans they're familiar with. I'm not of Latin descent. So it makes sense that they stare. It doesn't hurt that I'm HOT either - hahaha!*

The man staring at me - doesn't creep me out. I've grown accustomed to this behavior and just smile and fall back asleep. I notice though, that all the flight attendants keep checking up on him personally and filling his glass with more spirits each time they pass. They speak in German. The men shake hands vigorously, while patting him on the shoulder. The women kiss his face and hold his hand while they speak. He's an older man and I figure he's either a political figure or a frequent flyer. He's also doing a great job fitting the stereotype of a German drinker. The man has not stopped drinking since the flight began. Why he's taken an interest in me is beyond my understanding. He even waved to me during dinner. Um, hello. Yeah - my dinner is great too - thanks!

The plane finally lands and we all make our way through customs and to the baggage claim. As I'm waiting - someone pulls their luggage cart next time mine and stops.

Me: *slowly looking to my left*

German Man...let's call him Karl: Hallo!
Me: Hallo!
Karl: You're from Hawaii, aren't you?!
Me: Yes I am. (Don't judge me - I'm just glad he knew about Hawa'ii and I claim it anyways)
Karl: Oh, I love Hawaii!!! My wife and I vacation there a lot. The Hawaiian people remind me of the Germans. We are very similar, you know.
Me: No you're not!
Karl: Sure we are! Very warm and friendly!
Me: hahaha - that's actually the opposite of what I found in Germany.
Karl: hahaha - I noticed you on the flight! I kept staring at you and waving.
Me: I saw that! Thank you! :)
Karl: I was waving at you because of our dinner.We had salmon!!! And I know how much your people love salmon - so I wanted to give you my dinner!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

I don't know what it is about me - but people love to say crazy things (most of the time socially incorrect things) to me....and give me their food. ;)

What Karl didn't know is that salmon isn't native to the islands of Hawaii. We don't eat salmon there.
What Karl DID know is that Polynesians have a diet of fish and that they would gladly have taken his offer for free airline food. :)

We parted ways - I made it through customs with my insane amount of German goodness - and the travel gods DID bless me to make my next flight.

I can't wait for something like this to happen again...tomorrow ;)