Sitting in the FRONT seat - Sitting in the BACK seat...

I made it to Germany!!! HOLLA!!! :) or should I say "HALLO!!!"...hahaha

My first few moments, back in Europe, were inspiring - so I have to share...


I had spent 13+ hours traveling - eating airplane food (no complaints on the *free* part) - half deaf from my ear infections and ear drops - and doped up on ibuprofen/tylenol/hydrocodone/crackcocaine/what-have-you - and I found my way to the Alex Airport Shuttle to take me to home.

The Culprit

I'm told that because I'm the farthest away - I will be dropped off last. They throw my luggage in the bottom of the back of a tall Eurovan - and I climb in the back seat. There's a driver's seat - a passenger seat - a 2-3 person bench infront of me (full) - and then my bench seat that has room for 3-4 people. A family of 3 comes to sit by me, but ends up sending their son to the front - so we have more room in the back. It turns out that they are new to Germany as well - and moving straight from O'ahu! That was a relief - because we've got at least an hour ride ahead of us. Now it won't be awkward because we're practically family. ;) I was holding my fuzzy pillowcase (full of my favorite minky blanket) and my ukulele. And we were ready to go!




The ride starts off well - I'm having a good time. We're swapping stories about Hawaii and military life. Which I have a lot to offer - because I'm both Hawaiian AND military...but we're excited that we have each other and that makes me happy. So happy in fact, that I wish it would have never ended.

Germany is beautiful! Imagine any fairytale that you grew up hearing - and you're picturing Germany. Dense forests full of witches and wolves - rolling hills - villages tucked into the landscape - castles - bakeries - German people (that love to stare) - and roads so narrow and twisty, that no Tongan (who gets carsick easily), should find herself caged in the back of a Eurovan.



My downfall...

I started feeling a little queezy when we dropped off the first person. I was trying really hard to concentrate on my conversation with Hawaiian Lisa and ignore the imposing headache that was on the edges of my mind. If I could make it to the next drop off - maybe Hawaiian Lisa and her husband could move up and I could stretch out on the back seat. I closed my eyes to help me accomplish that goal.

 

The thing about Alex Airport Shuttle drivers is that they just want to get people dropped off. The more people they help - the more chance of tips they'll have. With that in mind, they don't care how they get to the drop off points - they just want to get there and FAST. Not to mention, they're used to driving these evil roadways - so they fly through the streets like monsters...come to think of it - they ARE monsters.

By the time we got to the second drop off point - both Hawaiian Lisa and her husband were complaining about the carsickness as well. It made me feel a little better - but I was now at the point, I couldn't really open my eyes. Hawaiian Lisa and her husband moved to the middle part - and I was excited to stretch and feel better.

I started out with my pillow against the window and my head on my pillow. But, the Monster Driver had some magical power that made me feel EVERY movement of the cursed Eurovan. I got rid of the pillow and realized how hot I was. I started pressing my face and hands against the cold glass - getting a brief moment of relief, but the magic was TOO strong!!! I stripped off my jacket and shoved it into my pillowcase. I couldn't breathe well - I was sweating - and I couldn't seem to make myself feel any better. Looking out the window made it worse. Closing my eyes and steadying my head against the seat made it worse as well. I was doomed...

Monster Driver swerved around a curve...*gulp*

Monster Driver slammed on the breaks...*gasp*

Monster Driver knew how to work his black magic all too well!!! I started to panic - there were no shoulders to pull over on. There was no way to stop on the autobahn. WHAT DO I DO?!

I reached for the only comfort I had left in this world - the pillowcase.



Knight in Shining Armor

Yes - it was full of my favorite minky blanket. It also contained my fleece jacket that I had ripped off during the Battle of Heat. I had to decide quickly - for the fate of my world trapped in Eurovan was quickly unravelling.

Monster Driver laughed viciously as he took 3 more curves and turned up the heat.

I surrendered.

I pulled my snowglobe encrested pillow case open - and began to vomit.

:(

I wretched the contents of my travels into my pillowcase at least 3 times - praying that no one could see, hear, or smell me.

:(

You know what though? After admitting defeat - I felt a MILLION times better...almost COMPLETELY healed!

It's like - the Monster Driver had no power over me any longer - and I was ready to fight...or do a load of laundry. ;)

I was actually dropped off before the family from Hawaii (because I couldn't go on base yet...or because they heard my battle cries?). I was able to dump out the contents of my defeat in my cousin's yard and guess what?! Only my jacket and one side of the pillowcase were compromised - leaving my minky blanket UNHARMED!!! It's a GERMANY MIRACLE!!!

I rushed inside - got my clothes and pillowcase into the washer, changed my shirt, and even administered more ear drops before my cousin got home!

HOORAY FOR MY FIRST BLOG FROM DEUTSCHLAND!!!

"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation" - George Bernard Shaw

Now that I live at home - and all my friends live far away from me (especially when I don't have a car) - I find myself communicating with the same people...ALL - THE - TIME. I feel bad for these people - because I talk a lot. Lucky for you - our conversations are almost ALWAYS inspiring.

I don't want my blog to be another neglected child of my ADHD - so when I feel like I have nothing to say - I'll just post what I have said. :)

KAHE BOI

*Kahe (my 2 year old Hawaiian nephew) watching "Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron"*

Kahe: Horsey Neigh!!!

Ladybug: For reals, Kahe? This movie SUCKS!

Kahe: Horsey Neigh!!!

Me: Dude, you would think the horses would talk...especially when there are only horses in the scenes. But, not in this movie - they all just neigh...it's almost creepy.

Kahe: Horsey Neigh!!!

Ladybug: WHY are we watching this?

Me: Because Kahe wants to...

                                         Kahe: Horsey Neigh!!!

LADyBUG

Me: I think that the narrator or voice for Spirit is Matt Damon!

Ladybug: No WAY! He would never do something this lame!

*Kahe running in circles - acting like he's riding a horsey neigh*

Me: *googling the voices of Spirit* Holy crap - there's an official site!!! Aaaannnnd...MATT DAMON IS THE VOICE OF SPIRIT!!!

Ladybug: WHAT is this world coming to?!

*Kahe runs straight into the fireplace and falls down (unhurt)*

Ladybug: BAHAHAHA!!! Never mind - this movie's worth watching! 

 

ROOTBEER FLOAT

RiN-DiZZLE

*I'm making a rootbeer float and sucking the foam off the top of it*

Rin-Dizzle: EW!!! That noise is SOOO dis-gusting!!!

Me: Why?

Rin-Dizzle: Because it sounds so gross!!!

Me: What does it sound like, mom?

Rin-Dizzle: Like...like...
Me: Someone sucking off the foam of a rootbeer float?

Rin-Dizzle: YES!!!

Ladybug: Guess what? I'm going to Vegas this weekend!

Me: Why?

Ladybug: Because I'm getting paid for driving back a car....

Me: Just don't look in the trunk...

Ladybug: Why do you say that?

Me: Because people don't just pay people to drive back their cars -

Ladybug: They do if they're super expensive, nice cars!

Me: Then those people don't pay you to drive them back.

*All of us are watching tv*

Ladybug: Mom, what does pompous mean?

Me: You

Rin-Dizzle: Arrogant...

Me: You

Rin-Dizzle: Self absorbed...

Me: Brat

Rin-Dizzle: Uhhhm

Me: YOU

*Ladybug flips me off* 

Rin-Dizzle: DE-VIN!!!

Ladybug: What? I was pompousing HER!!! 

Me: *with inner and outer ear infections* Ladybug - does my face look swollen?

*Ladybug looking at me and smiling*

Me: Nevermind - don't answer that...

The Christensens vs The Canyon

Have any of you ever noticed how easily I fall asleep in the car (driving and riding - but let's focus on the passenger part)? There's actually a very logical explanation for it and his name is: Big Ray. 

We grew up traveling with our parents. All of our family vacations were road trips back to Utah and further - so riding in the car holds a place in my heart. I would like to tell you my favorite memories of riding in the car - but I was asleep the majority of the time. If you ask my siblings what their memories were of - they'll most likely reply with the same answer: they were asleep.

How did my parents manage to keep 6+ children asleep for most of the 16+ hours in car? 

I thought it was their choice of music. MoTab, The Carpenters, Lettermen, Beach Boys, Barry Mannilow, Air Supply, church music - all great artists to snooze to. In fact, I'm pretty sure my parents were snoozing to them while they drove sometimes. Logical - yes. Correct - no. 

After multiple discussions with siblings, road trips with non-family, and recent trips with my parents - I came to the correct conclusion. We slept - because we were afraid to stay awake.

There's a saying among the Christensen kids: "Fall asleep quick - or be awake the REST of the ride".

I love my dad

But his driving skills alone - could be used as a means to interrogate suspects and make them confess to their crimes. He swerves - he dozes off - he speeds - he looks for items in the seat that he can't possibly reach - he tries to open Twinkies with both hands - he runs off the road (bumpbumpbumpbumpbump) - tries to find his cell phone - and all while whistling or humming along to "Rainy Days & Mondays". If you don't get in and get to sleep - you WILL be awake the REST of the ride - worried and afraid of every movement Big Ray makes. This week was no different.

Rin-Dizzle was super excited to head up the canyon with family and eat the first pot of chili this season. It's become a tradition - and since I'm headed to Germany next week - Ladybug graced us with his presence as well. We loaded up the car: Big Ray driving, me as passenger, Rin-Dizzle and Ladybug in the back. We decided to hit up a new spot in Little Cottonwood Canyon and were on our way.

Maybe it was the heat turned all the way up with me in layered clothes.

Maybe it was Ladybug being a brat.

Maybe it was the curves of the road.

Maybe it was Rin-Dizzle stressing out about the weather and the new venue and the chili in the trunk and getting ahold of Bunny and the...hahaha

Whatever the reason - my nerves were shot and I started getting carsick. Big Ray was taking the curves of the mountain like a NASCAR pro. The only problems are that:

1. Big Ray is NOT a NASCAR pro
2. The Hyundai we are packed in - is NOT a NASCAR vehicle
3. It's starting to rain...but that doesn't phase Big Ray
4. The view off the side of the mountain on MY side keeps coming so close - that even the tight grip on the handle above my window gives me no comfort

We get a call from my Uncle Kent - stating that the camp grounds we are supposed to eat chili at are closed. We drive to the ski resort, Snowbird, and meet up in the parking lot to make a game plan from there. I start to feel a little better - and actually take a moment to enjoy the still, not moving closer to me, trees and mountains. That time is short - because we decide that the mountains aren't working for us - and we need to make our way back down the mountain - and to a park.

*Big Ray speeding down the mountain*

 

Rin-Dizzle: Ray - remember that Analee's not feeling well.

Big Ray: Is that right? Are you car sick?

Me: *watching the road and holding on for dear life* N-no...I'm doing a little better.

Rin-Dizzle: Well, someone needs to get ahold of Sunny and Larry so they don't come up the mountain. I don't know why we couldn't just go to American Fork Can-

*Big Ray cutting through the curves and still speeding*

Me: Dad - you're scaring me! *starting to cough from my cold*

Ladybug: YEAH!

Big Ray: Well, I'm just trying to keep up with Uncle Kent!

Ladybug: Yeah - but he's in a 4-wheel drive SUV and we're NOT.

Big Ray: That doesn't matter. *grips the wheel tighter and glares at the road*

Me: *coughing turns to hi-burps*

>>>>Side note: Hi-burps are when I get the hiccups - but instead of hiccuping like normal "hi-cup" - I burp "hi-burp". It sounds kinda gross...but I can't help it...don't judge me!

*Big Ray's cell phone rings - but he can't find it - and instead of switching hands to look for it - he uses his right hand to check his left pockets - and starts swerving ALL OVER THE ROAD*

*ALL OF US SCREAMING*

Big Ray: *finally on his phone* Hello?

Me: *hi-burp* Give me your phone dad - you're freaking us out!

*Big Ray hands over the phone*

Me: *on phone* Hey Bunny...*hi-burp*

*Big Ray swerves again*

Rin-Dizzle & Ladybug: *screaming*

Me: *hi-burp*

Rin-Dizzle: OH NO!!! She's going to throw up!!!

Ladybug: *laughing*

Me: *hi-burp* MOM - I can hear you! *hi-burp*

*ALL OF US LAUGHING*

*Big Ray swerves again*

 *ALL OF US SCREAMING*

HAHAHA - no worries! We made it down the mountain in safety...just without sanity.

And you know what? Not one drop of the chili spilled! 

THE CHRISTENSENS: 1

LITTLE COTTONWOOD CANYON: 0

Fast Foward to Flashback!!!

Something happened this week - that took me to memory lane - and warmed my heart. I feel that, by understanding my past - you can understand and enjoy my present/future/what-have-you.

In Kansas City - one of our favorite places to be was at the amusement park: WORLDS OF FUN (and yes - it was WORLDS OF FUN...hahahaha). I love roller coasters - but my all time FAVORITE roller coaster is the old, wooden, no loops - no frills - only hills: TIMBERWOLF.

Quick evaluation:

• old
• wooden
• no loops
• no frills
• only hills
• lumber on hand for minor repairs
• Empty cars for plenty-o-riders

Due to the first 6 reasons on the eval list - the 7th reason makes the Timberwolf - GOLDEN. The lines aren't that long - and sometimes if you're fast enough (which I guess I was...back in the day) - you can run back and ride it over, and over, and OVER again. My heart swells with happiness just blogging about it!

It was on one of these days that our story takes place. I was with some friends at the park and we got to the Timberwolf with no lines - no waiting - and no limits. So, we each took our own cars (did I mention bench seats, with only a seat belt and lap bar - UNREAL?!) and the happiness began.

I'm not a ticklish person - but the Timberwolf - tickles me. Sounds off - in more ways than one - but just hear me out. When you tell people you're not ticklish - the first thing that everyone does (yes - I'll throw in an absolute) - is try to tickle you. THAT is annoying and becomes burdensome. So even the word - ticklish becomes burdensome and your whole life is ruined...or is it?

Once I buckle up (as loose as it will go!) and the ride starts ticking and jerking towards the top - my heart is bursting with joy (and a dash of anxiety). When I head down the first hill - arms raised high - stomach dropped low - and screaming at the top of my lungs - it happens: I begin to laugh and I can't stop. It's like all those times people have poked me or tried to tickle me - all those times surface and I can't get away from the silliness it causes. I throw my head back - stomp the ground - try to breathe - squeeze the lap bar tighter - but nothing can stop the laughter - and I realize - my life is NOT ruined. :)

This particular day - we were riding the Timberwolf for the THIRD time in a row and I was having a hay day! Even though I had already ridden it twice - I could NOT stop laughing. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and threw my head back as I laughed uncontrollably. I laughed so hard that I SLOBBERED. I SLOBBERED!!! And of course I laughed even harder about that - but remember how I'm on a rollercoaster? And remember how my slobber got caught by the wind and hit my friend behind me?! BAHAHA - I SLOBBERED ON ME AND ON MY FRIEND!!! BAHAHA!!!

FAST FORWARD to this last Wednesday night. 

The girls and I are out on the town - eating sushi - drinking soda - gettin' CRAZAY!!! We're singing our hearts out to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody and reliving our high school days.

The song comes to the "headbanging" part - and we hit a RED LIGHT!!! Coincidence? I like to call it DESTINY!!!

We go NUTS!!! We're headbanging like we're in the 90's! The car's shaking - we're losing brain cells - people are hiding their children - and then I headbang the SLOBBER out of me!!! HAHAHA 

That's right - I SLOBBERED and in that one moment, I was transported back to the Timberwolf and all its glory. The conditions weren't right (so Alina and Mandy missed out in being slobbered on), but we all laughed harder - knowing that it happened.

I'm still not ticklish (don't try it! ha!), but I know what being tickled feels like - and it doesn't always end up in saliva.

I'm just grateful for moments that make me remember the Timberwolf, and for more opportunities - to slobber. <3