The Christensens vs The Canyon

Have any of you ever noticed how easily I fall asleep in the car (driving and riding - but let's focus on the passenger part)? There's actually a very logical explanation for it and his name is: Big Ray. 

We grew up traveling with our parents. All of our family vacations were road trips back to Utah and further - so riding in the car holds a place in my heart. I would like to tell you my favorite memories of riding in the car - but I was asleep the majority of the time. If you ask my siblings what their memories were of - they'll most likely reply with the same answer: they were asleep.

How did my parents manage to keep 6+ children asleep for most of the 16+ hours in car? 

I thought it was their choice of music. MoTab, The Carpenters, Lettermen, Beach Boys, Barry Mannilow, Air Supply, church music - all great artists to snooze to. In fact, I'm pretty sure my parents were snoozing to them while they drove sometimes. Logical - yes. Correct - no. 

After multiple discussions with siblings, road trips with non-family, and recent trips with my parents - I came to the correct conclusion. We slept - because we were afraid to stay awake.

There's a saying among the Christensen kids: "Fall asleep quick - or be awake the REST of the ride".

I love my dad

But his driving skills alone - could be used as a means to interrogate suspects and make them confess to their crimes. He swerves - he dozes off - he speeds - he looks for items in the seat that he can't possibly reach - he tries to open Twinkies with both hands - he runs off the road (bumpbumpbumpbumpbump) - tries to find his cell phone - and all while whistling or humming along to "Rainy Days & Mondays". If you don't get in and get to sleep - you WILL be awake the REST of the ride - worried and afraid of every movement Big Ray makes. This week was no different.

Rin-Dizzle was super excited to head up the canyon with family and eat the first pot of chili this season. It's become a tradition - and since I'm headed to Germany next week - Ladybug graced us with his presence as well. We loaded up the car: Big Ray driving, me as passenger, Rin-Dizzle and Ladybug in the back. We decided to hit up a new spot in Little Cottonwood Canyon and were on our way.

Maybe it was the heat turned all the way up with me in layered clothes.

Maybe it was Ladybug being a brat.

Maybe it was the curves of the road.

Maybe it was Rin-Dizzle stressing out about the weather and the new venue and the chili in the trunk and getting ahold of Bunny and the...hahaha

Whatever the reason - my nerves were shot and I started getting carsick. Big Ray was taking the curves of the mountain like a NASCAR pro. The only problems are that:

1. Big Ray is NOT a NASCAR pro
2. The Hyundai we are packed in - is NOT a NASCAR vehicle
3. It's starting to rain...but that doesn't phase Big Ray
4. The view off the side of the mountain on MY side keeps coming so close - that even the tight grip on the handle above my window gives me no comfort

We get a call from my Uncle Kent - stating that the camp grounds we are supposed to eat chili at are closed. We drive to the ski resort, Snowbird, and meet up in the parking lot to make a game plan from there. I start to feel a little better - and actually take a moment to enjoy the still, not moving closer to me, trees and mountains. That time is short - because we decide that the mountains aren't working for us - and we need to make our way back down the mountain - and to a park.

*Big Ray speeding down the mountain*

 

Rin-Dizzle: Ray - remember that Analee's not feeling well.

Big Ray: Is that right? Are you car sick?

Me: *watching the road and holding on for dear life* N-no...I'm doing a little better.

Rin-Dizzle: Well, someone needs to get ahold of Sunny and Larry so they don't come up the mountain. I don't know why we couldn't just go to American Fork Can-

*Big Ray cutting through the curves and still speeding*

Me: Dad - you're scaring me! *starting to cough from my cold*

Ladybug: YEAH!

Big Ray: Well, I'm just trying to keep up with Uncle Kent!

Ladybug: Yeah - but he's in a 4-wheel drive SUV and we're NOT.

Big Ray: That doesn't matter. *grips the wheel tighter and glares at the road*

Me: *coughing turns to hi-burps*

>>>>Side note: Hi-burps are when I get the hiccups - but instead of hiccuping like normal "hi-cup" - I burp "hi-burp". It sounds kinda gross...but I can't help it...don't judge me!

*Big Ray's cell phone rings - but he can't find it - and instead of switching hands to look for it - he uses his right hand to check his left pockets - and starts swerving ALL OVER THE ROAD*

*ALL OF US SCREAMING*

Big Ray: *finally on his phone* Hello?

Me: *hi-burp* Give me your phone dad - you're freaking us out!

*Big Ray hands over the phone*

Me: *on phone* Hey Bunny...*hi-burp*

*Big Ray swerves again*

Rin-Dizzle & Ladybug: *screaming*

Me: *hi-burp*

Rin-Dizzle: OH NO!!! She's going to throw up!!!

Ladybug: *laughing*

Me: *hi-burp* MOM - I can hear you! *hi-burp*

*ALL OF US LAUGHING*

*Big Ray swerves again*

 *ALL OF US SCREAMING*

HAHAHA - no worries! We made it down the mountain in safety...just without sanity.

And you know what? Not one drop of the chili spilled! 

THE CHRISTENSENS: 1

LITTLE COTTONWOOD CANYON: 0