Having Rin-Dizzle as a mom - it makes sense. Every day with her is awesome - but holidays...holidays are something special. :)
Today - I was reminded of a pivotal Christmas in my life.
I spilled my drink today in the car on the way to work. A quart size Mason jar - spilled into my seat - almost half of the jar - before I realized it.
It soaked through my purse and I had to transfer everything into a plastic bag. Classy - I know.
When I get to work, I have a habit of unloading EVERYTHING out of my purse - onto my desk and working around it for the first part of the morning.
I straighten papers, try to minimize the cards in my wallet, stack items...you know - ADHD.
Today - while I was looking through my items - I found my Valentine's Day card from Rin-Dizzle. <3
I flashed back to the Christmas of 4th grade.
I was on the fence about Santa Claus.
Everyone was in a rush to grow up and refuse to believe in magic.
It didn't matter to me that it wasn't physically possible to travel to all the children in the world in one night.
He's MAGIC.
Reindeer can't fly? MAGIC.
People don't live in the North Pole? Santa isn't a people...he's MAGIC.
Trying to explain things to me logically - usually doesn't work. I operate on how I feel.
I remember asking my mom if Santa was real.
Rin-Dizzle explained Santa to me in the only way she could - magically.
"Santa Claus is so much more than just a happy man that delivers presents. He embodies generosity and the spirit of Christmas. Giving to others with no expectation of receiving is how we should all be - throughout the entire year."That was good enough for me.
I would watch (and try to help) Rin-Dizzle make treats for our neighbors and friends for Christmas.
She always had such great ideas and I loved watching her write her notes to everyone. She has beautiful cursive with fancy letters that look like they have pillows for backs. I've always tried to write like her (especially when forging notes to school - ha!), but could never achieve it.
One night, my siblings and I wrote our letters to Santa. We folded them as best as we could - stuffed them into envelopes, and sent them on their way to the North Pole.
A couple of nights later, Rin-Dizzle instructed me to get the mail she had "forgotten" to grab earlier in the day.
I didn't even catch on. I just wandered out to the mailbox, grabbed the mail and started walking back to the house.
I noticed a red envelope with the beginning letters of my name and I started to FREAK OUT!!!
SSSAAANNNTTTAAAA...wait.
Was the evening sky playing tricks with my eyes?
I stopped, separated my letter from the mail pile, and looked at it again.
Yes - that was my name.
I squeezed my eyes shut - and opened them again.
Still my name.
But...why did Santa and Rin-Dizzle have the EXACT. SAME. HANDWRITING?!
My 9 year old world stopped.
Santa isn't magic. Reindeer don't fly. I just wrote a letter to my PARENTS?!
I wanted to march into the house and DEMAND an explanation from Rin-Dizzle.
How could you?! How could you make me believe in a man who loves children and gives them presents?! How could you make me believe that everyone in the world could be loved equally?! How could you let me believe in magical animals, and elves, and glitter, and happiness in the wastelands of the North Pole?!
HOW COULD YOU?!
But, I remembered what Rin-Dizzle had said. She'd told me that the man, Santa Claus, was so much more than my 9 year old brain could understand. Santa Claus was something I could feel.
I sucked it up that day and became a little bit more mature that night.
I didn't want to ruin Ladybug's Christmas. I didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas. In fact, knowing the truth about Santa didn't ruin MY Christmas.
It helped me feel Christmas. <3
And every time I see my mom's handwriting - that's what I remember.
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