Homeless...

Today - I went to the post office to buy a PO Box.

I'm no longer "living" anywhere - but I need a place to grab my mail (when I remember to). 

I walked in, they handed me the application with instructions, and I filled it out completely.

One of the requirements of having a PO Box - is having a permanent address.

I don't have a permanent address. 

I called Rin-Dizzle and asked if I could use hers = problem solved.

I take my application to the postal worker and they ask if I have anything that matches my Driver's License ID.

No. I don't. That ID was issued over 5 years ago - and no one lives at that address anymore that I know.

I am then told that I cannot have a PO Box because I don't have an address to tie it to.

And it hit me:

I don't have an address.

So I asked politely: 

"What do you for people who are homeless? How can I get my mail?"

The post office went silent. 

I think out of pity, the postal worker advised me to have my mail marked "General Delivery". 

It's where your mail is delivered to the post office - and you pick it up from them.

I felt bad about that. Why must my mail be delivered to a holding spot - when I have the money to pay for a PO Box? I feel bad - having a post office hold my mail because I don't have a place to stay.

Sure - the clothes I wear on a regular basis are in a suitcase in the back of my car.

Sure - all of my belongings (minus my kitchen table in Logan, UT) are in a storage unit close to my work.

But, I have places to stay. 

Right now it's Mandy's house. <3

Sometimes it's with Rin-Dizzle and Big Ray. Last night it was with my sister, Sunny.

It's not a "traditional" way to live. It's not what society has mapped out for girls about to turn 35 years old.

It's at those moments - that I feel homeless. And that's completely wrong.  I'm the exact opposite, in fact. Mandy and I decided I am, "Polyhale" (paul-ee-haul-ay) = multiple home dweller girl thing. :)

I definitely don't fit in the "traditional" molds or applications. My map has been folded up, cut, glued, lost, and taped -  into a map that only my psyche could handle and understand.

I'm excited for the changes to come. Whether they be delivered to the Kaysville post office - or to the couch I find myself blessed to crash on.

Some could see me as irresponsible - afraid of commitment - or even running away from my problems.

I'm probably all of that...and so much more.

It was wrong of me to refer to myself as homeless. It was insensitive.

Yet, I am glad that it was jarring enough for me to reevaluate my situation and again, be reminded of how great my life really is....PO Box or not.