Day 3 - Not hating life...yet ;)

You know what I DO hate? 

Waking up - in the middle of the night - to use the bathroom. It probably sounds lame to complain about - but really? I'm supposed to drink 5 million ounces of water a day - take bathroom breaks every 10 minutes - and my body thinks it's hilarious to ruin my dreams and slumber - by making me use the bathroom. 

I'm in an intense kung fu battle with a rogue unicorn and wait - why are the clouds blinking? Why am I wandering around a foreign city now? Looking for a bar? No. Looking for a brothel? No. I know it starts with a 'B'....BBQ?

BATHROOM!!!

And you know how it is - you're so full that it hurts to even move, but ya gotta.

This morning (2:01 am) - I dragged myself out of bed and did something I've never done before - I timed myself.

Why?

Because - I swear to you - that with the new amount of water I'm drinking on a daily basis - I am peeing for at least 12 minutes. Per. Toilet. Use. 

Gross? Maybe - but it's what I'm blogging about today. Gross honesty.

Can you guess what my time was? 

40 SECONDS!!! FORTY SECONDS!!! FOUR. TEE. SEC. UNDS!!!

It's probably not a record - but with a steady stream - I'm hoping something good is happening to my body.

I'm hoping the water weight I lose this week is 40 POUNDS!!! Or 3....I'll take 3.

And I know that my body will adjust to my changes - so when it does - that rogue unicorn is gonna get it!!!

Day 2 aaaand I'm still fat.

HA! I know "it took time to gain weight - it'll take time to lose weight".

I'm pretty sure that I can gain 12 pounds instantly. INSTANTLY.

Like pudding...I'm like chocolate pudding.

AND with that realization - I quit!

:)

Nah - I won't quit. But, you know what did? My fitbit thingy. It's the Amazon version of a fitbit and it's cool, but it didn't record my sleep patterns, my steps this morning, and the clock was off. LUCKILY, Google exists and so does deleting and re-installing apps - so life is back on track again.

It really does make a difference. I like sliding the bar on my app to count the ounces of water I'm drinking. I like the little buzz my bracelet gives me to remind me to be active...which sometimes is standing up and marching in place...ha! I even get up to go to the bathroom because I know it'll add to my steps...I'm honest.

The Piyo beginning video was good. They have a "modifier" that does the exercises easier so that people who aren't in awesome shape can do them. I'm at a point - where I have to modify - the modified, but I tried my hardest. And you know what? My foot didn't hurt this morning :)

Although, I was super tired last night. I still feel like I'm running around - chopping food - and packing it. I think that it'll get easier as I go - and I'll try to learn time saving tricks. So far - I haven't mastered any of that.

I DID master my lunch though!!! I showed no mercy to the Trader Joe's Cowboy Black Bean Corn Quinoa veggie burger on a slice of whole grain bread with Laughing Cow cheese wedge spread!!! With every savory bite - I stared down that burger and told it who I was:

I. AM. CHOCOLATE. PUDDING!!!

Which - strange enough - I don't feel like eating :)

2015 is for Suckers...

Guess what!

I made a resolution to lose weight this year!!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa - just hear me out.

Am I any different than anyone else trying to lose weight right now?

No...but I'm cooler. ;)

The crazy things about this announcement are:
>>I never tell ANYONE that I'm trying to lose weight
>>I never write in my blog (last post was April 2014? hahaha - don't hate)

Why now? Why become the fitness blogger that I don't even read?

Because that's exactly what I'm NOT. I'm Brown Sugar. :)

For the 3 people who read my blog - this is for Ardis. She wants me to check in with my progress and to also write in my blog again. She also introduced me to Piyo and is super excited for me to try it out.

And for once, in a very long while, I'm excited too.

I'll elaborate more in the blogs to come - but I've had a huge mental block and a completely bad attitude when it comes to losing weight.

I present to you:

>>DAY ONE<<

I went to bed at 9:00 pm to sleep for 8 hours before work. 

I didn't.

I was so worried that I wouldn't wake up in time - I'd wake up. I was so worried I overslept - I'd wake up. I'd get BORED of sleeping - and wake up.

I'm sure I'll get used to it...right? I mean - I LOVE sleeping - I just haven't tried it for 8 hours in a row  (on purpose) for quite awhile.

When I did wake up - my right ankle hurt (remember my last blog?) and I thought out loud,

Sorry 'bout it Brown Sugar. The Fat gods say you must stay the same.

Not THIS time Fat gods! 

I  know it's going to hurt so much, but I'm ready to push through the pain. I know that I'll be sad without LOTS of sugar - in all of its forms. But, I'm willing to eat chop salad at lunch (and it was DELICIOUS).

I know - that I can do this. TODAY I want to do this!

Did I walk downstairs to fill up my water bottle with the boys? I DID.

Did I take the elevator back up? I DID!

Baby steps, y'all. Literally - baby steps.

I'm a brat...

I went to the doctor the other week because my foot started  hurting so badly – that I couldn’t walk. It’s an ongoing pain that I’ve had since 2007 that effects both of my feet – but only one at a time. It does NOT include gout, or diabetes, or whatever stereotype there is to assign to large, Polynesians...that I know of. :)

Why not go to the doctor? Because I have no health insurance. Plus, I stopped selling drugs – so it’s harder to afford the copay as well. Don’t worry – I have a legal job – doing legal things – that pay legal taxes – but doesn’t offer health insurance because I’m not legally full time.

Lucky for me – I found out there is a low-income clinic in the city that I work in – and I was in so much pain – I finally went. I was nervous about limping into a clinic – looking all brown and ghetto – but when the doors opened and I saw the amount of minorities in the waiting area – I felt at home! A little Kansas City, MO – right here in Utah!

I, of course, waited in line – and when I could finally step up to the urgent care – I was informed that since I didn’t lie about previous foot pain – I had to see a doctor for preexisting condition. I was treated like an addict – looking for pills and when I made it clear that I wanted someone to look at my foot – I was given a new patient appointment for the following Tuesday…5 days away.

Fine. I took a picture of my foot and played their game. R-est, I-ce, C-ompress, and E-levate all weekend. Sacrificed time with friends and my low rider bike to get better. Here’s what happened when I made it to my appointment that Tuesday:

Dr.: So, you’re having foot problems?
Me: Yup. And I’m coming to you because everyone tells me it could be different things – but I want to know. Do I have the gout? Am I diabetic? Is it a stress fracture? I just want to know what’s going on so I can correct it and move on.
Dr. (looking at my foot): It doesn’t seem too swollen today.
Me: Uh, that’s because I came in last Thursday to see you.

*showing him this picture to prove my sadness* 

Me: I’ve been doing that R.I.C.E. thing and taking four of the 200mg which makes 800 mg of ibuprofen every 8 hours or so for pain. I alternate it with Tylenol if it’s really bad though. And I know that my weight plays into this. You’ve seen my weight – but I’m Polynesian and we’re made of steel – so that makes us weigh more, right? :)

Dr. (taking notes and not really paying attention to me): Mmmmhmmmm.

Me: I started weights again and I’m trying to lose weight – but how can I lose weight and exercise, if I can’t even walk? It’s frustrating…

Dr (taking my foot in his hand and squeezing it lightly): Does this hurt? Can you feel it?

Me: It’s uncomfortable – but not too painful. Yes – I can feel that.

Dr: Well, the fact that you can feel that means you’re not diabetic. People with diabetes can’t feel their feet. Do you have any open wounds? Or wounds that won’t heal?

Me: No.

Dr: That’s another sign of diabetes as well. I mean, there’s a little discoloration in your leg…

Me: Because I’m brown? :)

Dr (ignoring my racial humor – still holding my foot): Can you move your toes?

Me: Yup.

Dr: Well, you can move your toes so that means it’s not a stress fracture. And you say that your pain is in the top of your foot – no so much the big toe. I don’t think it’s gout. I think that you have a condition called planter’s fasciitis. It’s pretty painful – but can be dealt with stretches and ibuprofen.

Me: But, I don’t have any heel pain.

Dr: Has your heel ever hurt?

Me: Yes. But, that’s not the case this time.

Dr: I’ve got some stretching exercises that I can print out for you. And we can get you some ibuprofen 800s.

Me: What’s the difference between those and me taking the 4 pills of 200 mg?

Dr: Is that what you’ve been taking? I thought you were taking 4 pills of 800 mg! You can stick to taking the 4 pills of 200 mg.

Me (now that I know that he hasn’t been listening – I’m kind of annoyed): Are you a doctor? :)

Dr: I’m a PA.

Me: Do you volunteer here? :)

PA: This is my full time job.

Me: Oh….

*PA moves to the computer where he starts typing in my file and ignoring me – so I get bored and move to where I’m facing him and watching him type*

PA (while he types): So, what you’ll need to do – is take ibuprofen and refrain from activities that hurt your foot.

Me: Can I lift weights?

PA (still typing): If it doesn’t hurt your foot.

Me: Can I ride my bike?

PA (looking up): Did you ride your bike to the clinic today?

Me: Does it look like I rode my bike here? :)

PA: *stops typing and stares at me*

Me: NO – I have a low rider bike that I just bought and I want to be able to ride it.

PA (back to typing): If it doesn’t hurt your foot.

Me: Can I go clubbing this Saturday? :)

PA: I’d probably refrain from that for a while.

*PA typing in silence*

Me: So I can’t do things that will hurt my foot?

PA (still typing): Nope.

*PA typing in silence*

Me: *DRAMATIC SIGH*

PA (looking up): Yes?

Me (trying really hard to be serious): SO…I can’t go running? 

PA (not amused): No.

*PA typing in silence*

Me: *DRAMATIC SIGH*

PA (looking up): Yes?

Me: I’m sad because *sigh*....it’s just that *sigh*…I’m going to have to tell the guys on my Ragnar team that I can’t do it this year. And I was the anchor!!!

PA (stands and heads to the door): I have your exercises printed off for you and you’re good to go.

HAHAHA 

ANOTHER post about Frozen...

As my family sits down to watch Disney's Frozen for the FIFTH time this week - I'm escaping to the computer room to blog about it.

I'm crazy enough to apply all movies to my own life. Crazy - fatheaded - imaginative? Either way - here's how Frozen would play out in my life:

THE CAST:

PRINCE HANS = played by any gingers I've dated in the past...and most likely, the future

KRISTOFF = still holding auditions

OLAF = LADYBUG (our little brother)

PRINCESS ELSA =  PRINCESS BUNNY
PRINCESS ANNA = PRINCESS BROWN SUGAR

It's amazing how well the casting worked out...it really is.

BROWN SUGAR'S "FROZEN"

Princess Bunny is hiding her magical freezing powers and ninja skills from the kingdom.

Princess Brown Sugar is kickin' it at the parlay - sees a ginger - and falls in love. That's how it ALWAYS happens to her.

Princess Bunny freaks out - freezes errbody - runs away - and in the process - creates Ladybug - who is a little delusional at times, yet endearing...and our little brother - so our stories are never complete without him.

Princess Brown Sugar goes after Princess Bunny - even though her feet hurt and she's hungry.

After a lot of singing and dancing - which primarily come from Princess Brown Sugar - Princess Bunny accidentally freezes Princess Brown Sugar's heart!!!

Here's the twist (because our lives follow the movie pretty well until this part):

Princess Bunny feels bad that Princess Brown Sugar is hungry and now cold - so she walks down the mountain with her to find help. They get to their kingdom - only to find out that the ginger was in fact, a GINGER, who has no soul and has tried to take over!!!

Princess Bunny uses her FreezingPowerNinjaSkills (which have become ONE through her self realization in the wilderness) - and defeats the handsome, but evil ginger. The kingdom is no longer afraid of her - and welcome her back with open arms and fortune cookies.

Ladybug has already had his heart broken by three lame girls and is now on the top of the charts for music, self help books, and comfort food cookbooks.

But, where's Princess Brown Sugar?

Oh, yeah - because she lives in a kingdom full of white boys that have pets, but don't like big, brown girls - there's no one to save her from her frozen heart...and she dies.

Anyone?...Anyone?

Well - dying is a LITTLE dramatic...especially since this is my autobiography. 

Maybe...she stays frozen until dinner time. 

That's when Princess Bunny and Ladybug bring her some hot cocoa and cookies - the ice melts (leaving a hole where her heart should be) - and they get back to the castle in time for a Bon Jovi concert.

THE END

Just in time for Brown Sugar Month 2014!!! hahaha

BROWN SUGAR FACTS 2013

*CORRECTION* You may have been misled, in a previous letter, to believe that Brown Sugar graduated from Utah State University in 2009. She did not and the person that told you is a dirty liar and should not be trusted.

YOWZA!!!

I don’t know if you’ve been keeping count – but it’s been more than THREE years since my last letter. And as much as I’d like to think that your heart has a deep hole, that only Brown Sugar can fill – I realize that it probably does. That’s why I started these letters in the first place – to heal your heart. J

Be sad no longer – I bring you words of inspiration, pictures of wonder, and random facts of awesomeness…You’re welcome. <3

We celebrate Jesus in December (and if you’re super righteous, like me, everyday). We celebrate Brown Sugar in March (and if you’re super rad, like me, everyday). It only makes sense to send Brown Sugar Facts in March!

HIGHLIGHTS OF BEING 29, 30, & 31:

§  I still tell people I’m whatever age they think I am (I average about 25)

§  I was diagnosed with ADHD..........why are you laughing?

§  I lived in GERMANY!!! I was the largest, loudest, brownest person there and I LA-HO-VED it!!! Germans aren’t the hugging type – but I TRIED!!!...And no one pressed charges. ;)

§  I tried my hand at costume making with felt. I even wore one of my costumes to The Potato Bowl (in Boise, ID) and was on ESPN!!!

§  Aaaaaaaand – I’m back in Utah…*sigh*

I’m pretty sure I planned my life differently than how it’s turning out to be. I’m also pretty sure that I never planned on living in Germany or making a Christmas tree costume that was so comfortable.

I have some regrets – but I have no complaints. I’m happy, I’m brown, I’m blessed, and I’m loved. Thank you for being a part of my life – planned or unplanned – I’m happy because of you. I love you and can’t wait to see what year 32 brings!!!

HAPPY BROWN SUGAR MONTH!!!

Last year, I posted random facts about myself on Facebook. I wanted to help people understand why I’m crazy…it’s just how Jesus made me. J I’ve decided to include a few random facts (with pictures) – randomly – in my letters. I hope you enjoy them – and if you wonder what other facts you may have missed out on – check out my blogspot for this year’s complete set:

www.biggitybrownsugar.blogspot.com

Remember – I’m ADHD, so they probably won’t be posted until April. ;) (or March 2014...hahaha)

FACT #1: I was my high school’s Homecoming Queen.

Fact #2: I sang a solo for our 4^th grade production of The Nutcracker. Probably because I sing like Beyoncé & probably because I didn't fit in the candy cane costumes.

Fact #3: Whatchu know about paneled silk shirts, dog tag necklaces, & the skating rink every Friday night in 6^th grade? Brown Sugar didn't play in the 90's!!!

Fact #4: I have ALWAYS hated camping.

Fact #5: My due date was 01 March, but I wasn't birthed until 07 March. For the longest time – I thought that was the reason I was brown. I was overcooked.

Fact #6: When I was in 2^nd grade – I won second place in a coloring contest. Over the years I've kept up with my talent – so I decided to send you some of my recent work…and a picture of me in 2^nd grade. J

***I actually colored a picture and sent it out with my letter for these lucky recipients...but I don't think I sent out half of them...ha! SORRY BOUT IT!!!***

Fact #7; Once I wore my Halloween costume for 3 days after the holiday. My brothers begged me to change my clothes – I made them come into the gym & take pictures of me instead.

Fact #8: My mother hated me.

Fact #9; When I was in 3^rd grade, I was pretending to be Stevie Wonder – to get my brother to laugh. I had my sunglasses on, my eyes closed, and I was singing my heart out…when I fell down the stairs. I got my brother to laugh.

Fact #10; The VW Bus/Vanagon is my FAVORITE car. In high school, if I saw one, anywhere, I'd stop & take a picture…and yes – I dressed like that.

***May I be better at posting on my blog and sending out ALL of my Brown Sugar Letters this year***

Our Jelly Bean Man

Big Ray, my dad, came to stay with us a week or so ago. Here are a couple stories that make us happy. :)

He has Alzheimer's and it's hard to see it take over his life - mentally and physically - so I want to blog some happy memories to help endure the sad.

Big Ray's favorite place to eat is Red Lobster. SO - I thought I'd be the favorite daughter and take him on a "Daddy/Daughter Date" to his favorite place and let him eat whatever he wanted.

We show up and it's packed. I, honestly, didn't think anyone ate at Red Lobster anymore - especially on a Thursday night. Big Ray sees a packed bench, walks over, and asks if the people there could possibly scoot down so he could sit down. They oblige and then my dad says,

"Can you scoot down a little more, for my daughter to sit down too?"

They look up - to see the biggest, Polynesian girl in the restaurant and I'm all sorts of flustered.

"No - no! No worries - I'm just fine standing."

Big Ray: "Don't be silly. There's plenty of room."

AND - everyone scoots down just a little bit more...for me to sit.

We find ourselves sitting next to a cute couple. They're dressed up nicely, arms interlocked, and most likely out for a nice date. She turns to us and starts a conversation:

Woman: How are you guys tonight?
Big Ray: Great! I brought my assistant. (referring to me)
*woman looks confused*
Me: Ha! I'm not his assistant. I'm his daughter - we're on a Daddy/Daughter date. :)
Woman: OH! We're on a date too. And I call him my daddy.
*I'm speechless*
Me (stuttering): No really - this is my dad. I'm adopted.
*The couple just laughs and Big Ray just sits there - smirking*

I'm pretty sure I told them that I was adopted - five more times before we were seated for dinner.

Big Ray also loves jelly belly's. Popcorn and pear flavored jelly belly's. In large quantities. That he keeps in all of his pockets. You can always tell where he's been - because there are jelly belly's left...like bread crumbs, I guess. HA!

One morning, my sister called down to Big Ray - to remind him to take his medicine. He said not to worry and with the hustle and bustle of four kids - it soon slipped my sister's mind. When she realized that Big Ray hadn't taken his medication - she began to look for him. She assumed that he was getting ready for the day - in the basement.

Bunny: So, I get down to the basement and he's not getting ready. He's LAYING IN YOUR BED!!!

Me: I knew it!!! There were jelly belly's ALL OVER it!!!

*shared laughter*

Me (remembering Bunny just got new leather couches): Oh man! You should have the kids check the couches for jelly belly's!!!

The kids come down in full force - searching the couches in delight. They're laughing and racing to see who can find the most.

Jaden holds his hand up - full of jelly belly's - over his head, and yells, "It's like a treasure hunt!!!" :)

I will gladly tell people at restaurants that I'm on a date with my dad. I will gladly come home to jelly belly's in my bed. I will gladly send my nieces/nephews on jelly belly treasure hunts in the furniture.

Because that will mean that Big Ray is still here <3