Letter to the Editor

I wrote the following to the BYU campus newspaper when I found out that someone close to me was being mistreated for asking a student to abide by the Honor Code.

My first reaction was violence...but Jesus said this was the better route.  I'm sure they won't publish it - but it's better than asking Rin-Dizzle for bail money.  ;)

"Dear small population of BYU students that appear to be entitled and spoiled to the public,

You have signed an Honor Code.  You have agreed to keep the standards outlined in that Honor Code, ranging from chastity to growing facial hair.

If you are caught breaking said Honor Code - it is not okay to bad mouth The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is not okay to publicly shame your professors/peers who ask you to uphold the Honor Code.

Again, YOU agreed to live by the standards outlined in it.  There are plenty of other Universities that allow shorter skirts, beards, and other activities outside of the Honor Code. Please feel free to attend a school you'd be happier at.

Love,
Your Sister in the Gospel that was kicked out of BYU for breaking the Honor Code"

WINNER!!!

Today I went to Costco with Mandy.

It reminded me of all the times we carried groceries in for Rin-Dizzle.

Rin-Dizzle had to shop for her 6 kids, all their friends, her 13 day care kids, church members, and anyone else that may come into her heart. Grocery shopping was no joke.

While she went shopping - we would stay home and "do our chores". It gave us a little independence and I'm sure it gave Rin-Dizzle a much needed break.

I remember, every time she came home, my brothers would make a contest. 

Whoever could carry in the most groceries at once - WINS!!!

I have T-Rex arms. 

You would think me NOT a competitor.

I tell you what - I learned how to stack those grocery bags on my arms, carry multiple jugs of milk in each hand, and still have the strength and talent to bring more groceries in UNDER my arms.

I averaged 8 bags of groceries PER arm. That's not counting the bags I held in my hands and the jugs of milk as well. Not bragging - just telling you how amazing I am.

I WAS THE ULTIMATE WINNER!!!

I was UNSTOPPABLE - UNBEATABLE - UNAWARE that I was being played the fool. :(

All those years I thought I was WINNING...I actually lost... 

*sniff*

Well played, brothers....well played.

Just you wait. 

One day, Jesus is going to need help in with the groceries for heaven and guess who will be his number one pick?

BROWN SUGAR <3

Paper routes...

Saturday night we celebrated my niece's 8th birthday.

We met up at sushi dinner and then headed to Wal*Mart (don't judge me) to pick up some last minute items and to give her an opportunity to spend some of her birthday money.

While we are standing in line - she keeps mentioning that she still has $2 left.

Anyone, who's ANYONE (aka loves 80's movies and John Cusack), that hears ANYTHING about $2 knows exactly where my heart is.

ME: "I want my two dollars...I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!"

Bella stares at me like I'm a weirdo.

ME: "When we were growing up - there was this awesome movie where this kid has a paper route and wants to get paid his $2. BUT, the people just ignore him and so he starts showing up in all these random places with his bike - to collect his $2. And that's what he says, 'I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!'"

Bella stares at me like I'm a weirdo.

ME: "...Do you know what a paper route is?"

BELLA: "No."

ME (my heart dropping): "Do you know what a newspaper is?"

Bella stares at me like I'm a weirdo.

Random Wal*Mart cashier: "Wow. You really dated yourself."

ME: politely laughing but staring at the cashier like I don't care about going to jail for beating her up...ha!

HOW SAD!

I remember staying up at night - rolling newspapers for my brother's route in the morning. Helping him load the cool, double sided bag that he wore, while riding his bike - to deliver the news to our neighborhood. I liked the feeling of satisfaction as I washed off the black ink on my hands - from the little work I was able to do.

Sometimes, it'd be too cold for him to ride his bike and we'd wake up early to ride along in the car while Rin-Dizzle drove him. I always wanted to be able to throw newspapers as well as my brother. He almost always made it to their porch.

Kids will miss that.

Technology is awesome and I'm glad that we keep making such advancements for communication (hello? I'm blogging). I just wish there were ways to keep everything good about growing up as a kid - and still have kids of today enjoy being tech savvy.

I see memes all the time about growing up in the 80's or 90's (sometimes the 50's if you're reading Rin-Dizzle's posts). They bring nostalgia and pride. Growing up was tough at times, but I enjoyed it.

Tonight was one of the many moments my heart ached for our future generations. I want them to enjoy their childhoods as much as we did.

They'll miss dialing a phone to see who has a crush on them or who wants to meet at the mall.

They'll miss their chance to beat my high score on Number Munchers (Prime Numbers Queen right here!!!).

They'll miss the feeling of wind in their hair as they cruise down the cul-de-sac on their Big Wheel.

They'll miss how creepy My Buddy and Kid Sister were - but you didn't care and still wanted one to twirl around with outside - while you sang the commercial jingle.

They'll miss out on saving friends on Pound Puppies.

They'll miss finding new homes for Cabbage Patch Kids...or hiding their Garbage Pail Kids cards/stickers from their mom.

They'll miss how scary Teddy Ruxpin sounds when he's low on batteries.

They'll miss getting their cardio in on their Pogo Ball.

They'll also miss having a crush on John Cusack....that's truly heart breaking.

My nieces and nephews can look at me like I'm a weirdo all they want. 

They need our memories (happy and sad) to bridge the gap between their generations and ours. 

History repeats itself and  a lot of the fads are coming back - but it's different the second time around. The kids don't know the recess time, sleepover talks, or awkward teen moments behind them all.

But, they will. Oh, yes - they will.

One long store line at time - they will. ;)

If you have time... 

My Santa Claus...

I LOVE HOLIDAYS AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!!

Having Rin-Dizzle as a mom - it makes sense. Every day with her is awesome - but holidays...holidays are something special. :)

Today - I was reminded of a pivotal Christmas in my life.

I spilled my drink today in the car on the way to work. A quart size Mason jar - spilled into my seat - almost half of the jar - before I realized it. 

It soaked through my purse and I had to transfer everything into a plastic bag. Classy - I know.

When I get to work, I have a habit of unloading EVERYTHING out of my purse -  onto my desk and working around it for the first part of the morning.

I straighten papers, try to minimize the cards in my wallet, stack items...you know - ADHD.

Today - while I was looking through my items -  I found my Valentine's Day card from Rin-Dizzle. <3

I flashed back to the Christmas of 4th grade.

I was on the fence about Santa Claus. 

Everyone was in a rush to grow up and refuse to believe in magic. 

It didn't matter to me that it wasn't physically possible to travel to all the children in the world in one night.

He's MAGIC.

Reindeer can't fly?  MAGIC.

People don't live in the North Pole? Santa isn't a people...he's MAGIC.

Trying to explain things to me logically - usually doesn't work. I operate on how I feel.

I remember asking my mom if Santa was real.

Rin-Dizzle explained Santa to me in the only way she could - magically. 

"Santa Claus is so much more than just a happy man that delivers presents. He embodies generosity and the spirit of Christmas. Giving to others with no expectation of receiving is how we should all be - throughout the entire year."

That was good enough for me. 

I would watch (and try to help) Rin-Dizzle make treats for our neighbors and friends for Christmas. 

She always had such great ideas and I loved watching her write her notes to everyone. She has beautiful cursive with fancy letters that look like they have pillows for backs. I've always tried to write like her (especially when forging notes to school - ha!), but could never achieve it.

One night, my siblings and I wrote our letters to Santa. We folded them as best as we could - stuffed them into envelopes, and sent them on their way to the North Pole.

A couple of nights later, Rin-Dizzle instructed me to get the mail she had "forgotten" to grab earlier in the day.

I didn't even catch on. I just wandered out to the mailbox, grabbed the mail and started walking back to the house.

I noticed a red envelope with the beginning letters of my name and I started to FREAK  OUT!!!

SSSAAANNNTTTAAAA...wait.

Was the evening sky playing tricks with my eyes?

I stopped, separated my letter from the mail pile, and looked at it again.

Yes - that was my name.

I squeezed my eyes shut - and opened them again.

Still my name.

But...why did Santa and Rin-Dizzle have the EXACT. SAME. HANDWRITING?!

My 9 year old world stopped.

Santa isn't magic. Reindeer don't fly. I just wrote a letter to my PARENTS?!

I wanted to march into the house and DEMAND an explanation from Rin-Dizzle.

How could you?! How could you make me believe in a man who loves children and gives them presents?! How could you make me believe that everyone in the world could be loved equally?! How could you let me believe in magical animals, and elves, and glitter, and happiness in the wastelands of the North Pole?!

HOW COULD YOU?!

But, I remembered what Rin-Dizzle had said. She'd told me that the man, Santa Claus, was so much more than my 9 year old brain could understand. Santa Claus was something I could feel.

I sucked it up that day and became a little bit more mature that night.

I didn't want to ruin Ladybug's Christmas. I didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas. In fact, knowing the truth about Santa didn't ruin MY Christmas. 

It helped me feel Christmas. <3

And every time I see my mom's handwriting - that's what I remember.

Homeless...

Today - I went to the post office to buy a PO Box.

I'm no longer "living" anywhere - but I need a place to grab my mail (when I remember to). 

I walked in, they handed me the application with instructions, and I filled it out completely.

One of the requirements of having a PO Box - is having a permanent address.

I don't have a permanent address. 

I called Rin-Dizzle and asked if I could use hers = problem solved.

I take my application to the postal worker and they ask if I have anything that matches my Driver's License ID.

No. I don't. That ID was issued over 5 years ago - and no one lives at that address anymore that I know.

I am then told that I cannot have a PO Box because I don't have an address to tie it to.

And it hit me:

I don't have an address.

So I asked politely: 

"What do you for people who are homeless? How can I get my mail?"

The post office went silent. 

I think out of pity, the postal worker advised me to have my mail marked "General Delivery". 

It's where your mail is delivered to the post office - and you pick it up from them.

I felt bad about that. Why must my mail be delivered to a holding spot - when I have the money to pay for a PO Box? I feel bad - having a post office hold my mail because I don't have a place to stay.

Sure - the clothes I wear on a regular basis are in a suitcase in the back of my car.

Sure - all of my belongings (minus my kitchen table in Logan, UT) are in a storage unit close to my work.

But, I have places to stay. 

Right now it's Mandy's house. <3

Sometimes it's with Rin-Dizzle and Big Ray. Last night it was with my sister, Sunny.

It's not a "traditional" way to live. It's not what society has mapped out for girls about to turn 35 years old.

It's at those moments - that I feel homeless. And that's completely wrong.  I'm the exact opposite, in fact. Mandy and I decided I am, "Polyhale" (paul-ee-haul-ay) = multiple home dweller girl thing. :)

I definitely don't fit in the "traditional" molds or applications. My map has been folded up, cut, glued, lost, and taped -  into a map that only my psyche could handle and understand.

I'm excited for the changes to come. Whether they be delivered to the Kaysville post office - or to the couch I find myself blessed to crash on.

Some could see me as irresponsible - afraid of commitment - or even running away from my problems.

I'm probably all of that...and so much more.

It was wrong of me to refer to myself as homeless. It was insensitive.

Yet, I am glad that it was jarring enough for me to reevaluate my situation and again, be reminded of how great my life really is....PO Box or not.
 
 

My 6th Birthday

In my early years of childhood - gender wasn't the most clear me.

My mother always had me in fluffy dresses with tights and shiny, black shoes.

My hair was always fixed in cute pigtails and I was always matching my sister.

But, I came home with scuffed up shoes. My tights - torn and bloody from playing football.

My hair was always a mess with my constant mud pie making.

Of course, being five years old had some influence, but I loved being with the boys.

Rough housing with my brothers, cruising on my big wheel with Ryan Cardon (so dreamy), and being a "boy" is what I thought I was.

Somehow, I convinced myself that when I turned 6 years old - I would turn into a boy.

I didn't quite work out how it would happen - but I've always been a fan of magic, so I assumed it would be. I'd wake up in the morning and BAM! Brown Sugar's a boy.

I'm sure that I thought having a penis would be part of it. It made sense to me - because everything I enjoyed and took part of - were "boy" activities. SO, all I needed was the correct plumbing.
------------------------------------------
My birthday party was great. 

All the neighborhood boys were there. My best friend at the time, Nicole Sanders, was one of the few girls invited. She was older than me by a few months, and hadn't turned into a boy - but it's because she liked "girl" things.

I opened up her present to me and it was satin - GIRL - underwear! THE HECK?!

I gave her a devastated look - not because I had just opened up underwear in front of ALL my friends (although, that was pretty embarrassing as well), but because after tonight - I COULDN'T WEAR GIRL UNDERWEAR!

She KNEW that!!! WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?!

We got past that. 

We finished celebrating my 6th birthday in all its glory and went to bed. 

As we lay in our sleeping bags - staring at the sparkly asbestos ceilings outside my parent's room - Nicole turned to me and asked, 

"Are you scared?"

Me (with my hands behind my head - staring at the ceiling),

"No."

*a few minutes of silence*

Nicole (with a deep breath for courage),

"Will you still be my friend?"

Me (slowly turning to look her in the eyes),

"I don't know..."

------------------------------------------------------------
I can't remember the next morning. I'm sure it was awkward. 

Thank goodness Nicole was okay with being friends with a girl that was supposed to turn into a boy, but didn't.

I don't think it was sad for me - possibly confusing and a bit disheartening because magic hadn't come through like it was supposed to.

I was still a tomboy - I held my own with the boys. Still do.

And I'll admit - stepping into femininity was difficult. I still see myself as more masculine because of my body type and interests. But, I also love being a woman.

I'm so glad that my quirky 5 year old self - was able to accept the 6 year old that she became. 

I think that's helped me get through a lot in my life. I have a lot of expectations and even far fetched ideas of what I am supposed to be in the morning. Yet, when those expectations don't happen - the "magic" doesn't come through - I'm still okay with the Brown Sugar that I am.

And I plan for the next adventure. :)


 

AGAIN...

I'm starting over - AGAIN.

My awesome friend/cousin, Hannah Aiono, is a personal trainer in MO (woot-woot!) and ks (meh). She has an online training group called Women On Weights (WOW). I have paid the training fee (which is TOTALLY DISCOUNTED!!!), sent her my before pictures, sent her my measurements...and I fell asleep last night instead of working out.

SO - today - after I finish work - I'm going home - and doing my workout!!! And then I'm going to play softball!!! And possibly go to karaoke!!!

I'm trying to use a lot of exclamation points to make me sound excited...because I'm not.   !!!

I downloaded the "Timehop" app - that finds your pictures from 1 year to YEARS ago and I just see my silly cycle of trying to be fit.

Two years ago I was doing great...I need to get in that mindset again.

Work - workout with [Insert Name of Male that filled my heart space with sorrow]- eat dinner with [Insert Name of Male "That Can't See Himself Dating Me"] - spend all night doing activities with [Insert Name of Male "Even Though He Thinks About It A Lot"] - cry myself to sleep - repeat.

SO HEALTHY.

!!!

I'll let you know how today goes...!!!

Walkers, Tears, and Life Realizations...

Is it unhealthy that I experience all my emotions while watching "The Walking Dead"?

Most likely.

But, it's not until I'm wrapped up into a show (or book) - and its characters - their lives - their joys - and their heartaches - that I let myself feel.

And lately - I've felt inadequate.

Inadequate in losing all the weight I know I should.

Inadequate in dating...if that's what you could call it.

Inadequate at my job.

So, here I am - sick with a stomach virus - watching this show and crying. Crying because good people have to die. Crying because bad people haven't died. Crying because people are trying to change...but get turned into zombies and have to die. Crying because they only get to eat a can of beans - once every four days. Crying because I started watching this show again because of a lame guy I recently hooked up with that made me watch Season 4 before Season 3 and we all know how plot lines don't connect when watching seasons OUT. OF. ORDER.

*crying*

It was good to cry things out. When I'm crying over the zombie apocalypse - I'm not crying over my own life. And if I'm not crying over my own life - I don't feel bad, lame, or ungrateful. 

My life doesn't suck. It's not too hard. It's definitely not how I imagined or planned it to be...and sometimes that can be unsettling for me.

A good cry helps to clear out my head and heart space. All the violence, change, survival, grudges, forgiveness, hate, and love in "The Walking Dead" helps to put things in perspective for me.

Weight: I wouldn't survive the zombie apocalypse. I wouldn't want to live on a can of beans for 4 days - run everywhere - and be dirty for so long. Heck - I'm hardly surviving this stomach virus...which has helped me to lose some weight. But, not the way I want to. SO - when I recover - I'll hit the gym with the same vengeance and passion I was planning on hitting it with before I got sick. I'm not a quitter - and if it takes me 10 million years to get to my goal weight - I'll keep trying.

Dating: Online dating IS the zombie apocalypse. I'll stay away from it and live to see another day.

Job: Who ever thought I'd be in Data Analytics full time? Of course it's hard for me - but I enjoy my job - it's challenging - and I am learning. I'll keep working hard - learning more - and hopefully - get a raise so I can move to Scotland...or at least visit. ;)

One day - I'll live a life with a full range of emotions. Until then - I'll continue to operate with happiness and anger. I'll utilize media and literature to understand pain and sadness better...and tell you about it.

Which is a little healthier...right? <3

*holding out for my very own redneck, bad-A, tender-hearted, skinny, white boy*

The Best. Cookie. EVER.

The Best Cookie: An Essay

by Brandon Fessler

A mistake. We’ve all made them at one point or another in our lives. And some of which have resulted in consequences (good or bad) far more significant than others. But it’s easy to see why the invention of the cookie could rank as one of the best mistakes ever made. Yes, the cookie’s existence is rooted in an accident. Dutch cooks would use a small dollop of cake batter to test the temperature of the oven prior to baking a cake. At some point, these little cakes grew in popularity and earned a name: The Cookie.

You’re probably wondering why I’m even writing an essay about which cookie is the best. It actually began with a small argument (one of many) myself and a couple of co-workers (Jonny Hislop and Analee Christensen) were having about which cookies are better. In my humble opinion which I defended quite voraciously, the Chocolate Chip Cookie is the best. With equal fortitude yet lacking the strong elements of proof, my co-worker Jonny Hislop defended the claim that the Sugar Cookie, in all its simpleton-nature, was the best cookie. This is why I present this essay: Because I unequivocally say, “Nay!” to that assumption about the sugar cookie or any other which bears those 6 letters.

Although our debate focused primarily on homemade cookies…personally, I don’t think it really matters if they are homemade or manufactured. A cookie is a cookie is a cookie. Show me someone who thinks an Oreo is better than a homemade chocolate chip cookie and I’ll show you an idiot. You might also be wondering: Why would someone want to waste time debating and writing about which cookie is the best? To that question I reply: “It’s not about writing on the cookie as much as it is about me being right.” But if that answer doesn’t suffice, I’ll begin this essay with poetry. In some weird way, I guess it now makes this more of an art piece than an essay and how dare one criticize the inner expression of one’s soul, especially mine.

Let me begin with a few Haiku about the Chocolate chip cookie. The Haiku, in my opinion, is one of the more pure forms of poetry. To quote the great cookie connoisseur, Cookie Monster: “Me love poetry….and cookies!” With no further delay, may I attempt to mingle those two loves of a blue monster into verse he'd hopefully appreciate…

Chocolate, so smooth.

Mixed with sugar, flour, love.

The Perfect Cookie.

One chip. Two chip. Three!

Morsels tucked away and snug.

Essence of Cookie.

The Sugar, no match.

Cocoa Chip…second to none!

It is my Hero.

The Evidence

Just in case those Haiku weren’t enough to persuade you on the perfectness of the Chocolate chip cookie, I provide…without bias or subjectivity, without wearing chocolate-chip-cookie-goggles as I write…some valid evidence, I shall call them “Truth Crumbs”, as to why the Chocolate Chip cookie rules supreme. You can google “America’s favorite homemade cookie” and get some really good results. Let me preface this with the fact that I didn’t hand select these pages or articles. These are merely the results of what google deems as “the best” answer which will provide a satisfactory result in a user’s search request. So let’s go to…

Exhibit A: The Brown Eyed Baker

What say ye, Brown Eyed Baker about the best homemade cookie? Let’s look at her Top 10: She has Chocolate Chip as the #1 cookie; calls this cookie, “The classic favorite…absolutely incredible.” Just want to point out she has the Sugar cookie as the 6th best cookie in her ranking, which I think is a little high…however…she has it down there with the ginger cookie so the sugar is in good company.

Exhibit B: About.com.

About.com goes as far as to say the Chocolate chip cookie is…“The All-Time Cookie…” It’s go big or go home for About.com with that claim. A little over the top? Perhaps. But I still love what About says regarding this amazing treat: ”Just mention Chocolate Chip Cookies and the mouth starts watering. Everyone seems to love these cookies.” Let us compare that analysis to the juvenile footnote of its counterpart: “Sugar Cookies are….a necessity when you have a school-aged child.” You know what I say to that? Stay in school Sugar cookies. Chocolate Chip…welcome to the big Leagues!”

Exhibit C: Carolyn Wyman, Renowned Food Author

I’m about real people. Not just some blogger-type who can hide behind their brand and spout out whatever they want. Not saying this is happening with the first two pieces of evidence, but…why not find out what Carolyn Wyman thinks? Not only is the Chocolate Chip her favorite cookie, but she’s actually written an entire book about this delicate, yet robust morsel. A book!?! You know why they don’t write books about Sugar cookies? Because books need to be longer than a couple of sentences and there’s not much to say about sugar, water, and flour. But I digress…The article makes the claim that “Chocolate-chip cookies, she points out, account for more than half of all home-baked cookies.” Half?!?!? There’s an estimated 2 billion cookies consumed per year by Americans, roughly 300 cookies per year per person. Now…that’s 2 billion total but needless to say if those are homemade or manufactured, one has to assume a good portion of those are chocolate chip.

I’m sensing a trend here… Whoa….what’s that? Did someone say “Trends”? Why not let google, “The Great Settler of Debates” “The Objective Bystander of Cookie Judgement”, chime in this debate?

Exhibit C: Google Trends

I ran a quick keyword trend analysis on our two competitors: The Chocolate Chip cookie VS the Sugar cookie. Using keyword queries as the benchmark for awesomeness…we can see who the real winner is…

https://www.google.com/trends/explore#q=%2Fm%2F0k5sl%2C%20%2Fm%2F05j9kt&date=today%2012-m&cmpt=q&tz=

Granted, there is that one month of the year that Sugar cookies’ interest spikes. And that holiday is Christmas. You have to wonder why? Is it because in the interest of time and simplicity…the chef opts in for Sugar Cookies because let’s be honest…anyone can bake a sugar cookie? Personally, I think it spikes because a bunch of amateur-bakers want to make something cheap and easy for neighbors and decide, “I want to bake something I can’t screw up. Something that doesn’t set the bar too high.” Which is kind of funny and reminds me of one Christmas when someone in the neighborhood gave us a small bag of tootsie rolls. Now, while I reflect on that moment…I’m pretty sure I’d prefer tootsie rolls over a sugar cookie.   

Exhibit D: Our Co-worker, Bracken’s Wife’s Cookies

…which happen to be Chocolate Chip Cookies. I wouldn’t necessarily say Lindsay’s delicious cookies are the only evidence for how awesome the Chocolate Chip cookie is…because her recipe is quite good. No…not only the cookie in this instance more so than my other co-worker’s (Jonny) reaction every time Bracken brings them in. Yes, the same Jonny who believes the Sugar cookie is the best cookie ever. There have even been instances where our Defender-Of-The-Sugar-Cookie has eaten half the plate of Lindsay’s chocolate chip cookies only after he has made every attempt to discourage others to have one for their own self. Irony? Nay, not irony, but a deep seeded passion for chocolate chip cookies. A passion so deep it would cause a man to do and say crazy things such as, “Sugar cookies are the best cookies.”

Exhibit E: A Random Facebook Poll

Initially, I was hesitant about doing a facebook poll on which cookie is the best. The facebook community is a different beast altogether so I was wary and hesitant about this eclectic community’s opinion on such important matters as this one is; however…there was an overwhelming response with this poll. Within the first hour or so, there were over 50 responses (I have to thank Analee for sharing this poll with her plethora web of friends on facebook…well over 1,000 peeps) and when I closed the poll 24 hours later, it ended with over 170 total responses (we’ll keep the Cookie Poll on going for any further data-collection).

The results of the data were as expected, especially when considering the aforementioned evidences of prodigious proof that the Chocolate Chip cookie is indeed the best cookie. Of the 170+ respondents, 84 (48.8%) voted Chocolate Chip (1) as the best; after that (2) The Snickerdoodle hit 24 (14%) votes; Oatmeal Raisin (3) brought in 17 (9.9%) votes; the No Bake Cookie (4) yielded 14 votes (8.1%); and finally…tied for 4th place…is the ordinary Sugar Cookie (4) with 14 votes (8.1%).  

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, heck…it doesn’t take a data scientist, to figure out what the best cookie in the world is. The oven-timer is buzzing on this essay so I want to leave you with a few parting words not from my mouth, but from the mouths of luminaries in the field of cookies…

Debbi Fields, who is all things Cookies, founder of Mrs. Fields, and who also happens to be a member of the Entrepreneur Hall of Fame expressed her love for this delectable treat: “Number one, I absolutely love making chocolate chip cookies. I mean, it’s fun. It’s exciting. Beyond the fact that I love making them, I love eating them.”

Joyce Meyer, best-selling author, went so far as to say it takes the Holy Ghost to stop her from eating chocolate chip cookies! She says, “I tell you what when I see chocolate chip cookies I can’t just eat one. I’ve got to eat a dozen. I don’t have any self-control. Well, come on! You’re just talking yourself right into the pit!

Cookie Monster, who one very rarely ever sees eating anything other than a chocolate chip cookie, once said, “Chocolate chip cookie important to me…it mean whole lot to me…om nom nom nom.” How can one argue with, “Nom…nom…nom”?

So now it’s time for me to drop the mic, but only because after all this research, time, and energy I’m ready to pick up the spatula and make my favorite, the best, all-time greatest, the one and only, impossible to deny…Chocolate Chip Cookie.

WEIGHTS: DAY 1

Guess who made it back to the gym?! THIS GIRL!!! :)

I LOVE weights - and it makes me sad that my feet have given me so many problems that I had to stop.

My cousin/college roommate/mentor/bestie/trainer got me into full body lifting a couple of years ago. I lost a lot of weight and felt so good...and then I got my heart space broken and everything went to crap.

That's the Reader's Digest version at least.

I've lost a little over 30 lbs since January - and even though my foot is still giving me problems - the pain isn't so bad that I can't work through it. I know my limits - I'm understanding my body more - so it's time for weights again!!!

AAAAND I've got a friend doing the program with me: Erica I'll-Cut-You-With-My-Homemade-Shank Garcia. She's the best!!!

Week 1 is always tough - getting into the gym, figuring out the layout of everything, dodging all the Meatheads, and finding a place to warm up without feeling lame. It feels like our routine takes FOREVER, but we're there - and we're doing it.

The best part is - working out at Gold's Gym (or "The Golden Gym" if you're my Hawaiian Aunty). I love it! I love the Meatheads, the fit women, the soccer moms, the high maintenance girls that text on the stretching mats - I love it all! Keep your "Judgement Free Zones" - I'm always entertained when I'm at The Golden Gym - and I'm sure that I return the favor for others there as well.

We're warming up for our workout (The Female Body Breakthrough is amazing, but the warm ups are way more involved than just 10 minutes on a treadmill) and an older lady approaches us.

Lady: Ooo - I want to do what you're doing. It looks like something I should be doing!
*proceeds to copy the warm up that we're attempting...and if she wasn't a grandma - could have possibly been making fun of us...maybe she still was - ha!*
Lady *to Erica*: You remind me of someone I used to work with. You look JUST like her!
Erica *a little stand offish*: Oh really? What does she look like?
Lady: Well...she has the same hair color as you...
Me: Does she have an attitude? Because then THIS *nodding to Erica* is her.

HAHAHA - the Lady stayed for a bit longer - but then she informed us that she had reached her max workout for the day and disappeared....almost magically.

We're still warming up - and a Fit Guy (not bulky enough to be a Meathead) comes over to the stretching area. We're concentrating - and out of the corner of my eye - I notice - that Fit Guy has noticed us.

That's not hard. I'm pretty sure that I'm the largest person in the gym at that time - and the ONLY Polynesian. Erica is probably the only Mexican girl there - and we're new to this gym...so yes - NEWBIES...doing weird warm ups.

We keep warming up and he has the courage to strike up a conversation:

FIT GUY: Are you girls ballerinas?
*we full on LAUGH in his face*
BAHAHAHA
ME: Yeah. Big, BROWN, ballerinas!!! (accidental alliteration!!!)
BAHAHAHA
ERICA: Yeah. They have to pay US more money.
BAHAHAHA

Needless to say - our adventures here are only beginning. :)